Damian’s threats were running through my mind, and I knew that was why Vox was so angry with me.
Vox hadn’t received the same threats as me.
I was the lead, so I was the one that would need to suffer the consequences of this failure. So, it’s not that Vox was worried about having to suffer through recalibration. He was worried aboutmehaving to go through it.
I was all Vox had, and while he almost seemed to get off on making Damian angry enough to punish him, it was a very different story whenever Damian threatenedme.I think after what happened with Gavin, Vox was terrified he might lose me too. So, I understood his rage was coming from a place of love, but it was making me feel really fucking guilty.
Why did I have to be so impulsive all the time?
I should have listened to Vox and waited to go see Ryan.
“I have to tell him. He’s just going to figure it out anyway,” I whispered, and Vox turned his head to look at me, his eyes full of angry tears.
He grabbed a handful of my T-shirt and yanked me across the center console into a tight hug. He shook his head while he held me, and I knew he was asking me not to text Damian.
“I have to, Voxy. He’ll kill them if I don’t. You know he will.”
He pulled away and leaned over me, digging through the glove compartment to pull out a pen and a pad of paper.
I raised my eyebrows, surprised that he was willing to go this far to communicate with me.
He scribbled on the pad, and I waited patiently for him to write whatever it was he wanted to say.
Finally, he showed me the note, his mouth set into a firm line.
‘We can protect them. I’ll help you. I’m done with him, Cal. Let’s run away. Let’s finish what Gavin started.’
I swallowed and shook my head.
“You know we can’t kill him, Voxy,” I whispered. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t kill Damian. Heownedme. He was probably the only person in the world that I didn’t think I could kill. He had programmed me not to. There had been many timesover the course of my life that I’d thought about it or wanted to, but I couldn’t. It was like my body froze, and my brain shut down whenever I tried.
On top of that, I had no idea if he had some sort of tripwire in place to trigger a hit on my family in the event of his death. Knowing him, he probably did.
So, even if I was able to kill him, I would need to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, worrying that someone was going to shoot my sisters from the bushes.
And now I had even more to lose. I thought of Ryan, Iris, and even grumpy-ass Theo. I had forced my way into their lives without even thinking about how it might endanger them.
I couldn’t put them at risk like that. They deserved better.
An angry tear slid down Vox’s cheek, and he snatched up the pad again, scribbling another note.
‘If he hurts you, I’ll kill him my fucking self.’
I gave him a sad smile and brushed the tear off his cheek,
“No, you won’t. I’ll be fine. It’s just a little recalibration. I’ve been through it before and survived just fine. Just… take care of my sisters and Ryan while I’m out of commission—Okay?”
Vox ran his hand down his face again in frustration. I watched him struggle with his anger and let him punch the steering wheel a few more times.
He just needed to get it out of his system.
Finally, he looked back at me, his mouth a firm line.
He nodded.
Giving him a grateful but sad smile, I pulled him in for another hug.
“Thanks Voxy. I love you.”
