Why had Yahweh lied? Why did He want us to hate and fear her? Weneededher just as much as we needed His power of creation.
“You have given me much to think about, Lilith,” I whispered, and she smiled.
“You asked me to teach you, Ramel. I hope that I have delivered.”
“You have,” I breathed, my mind racing. I couldn’t wait to return to Heaven to tell Shemhazai what I had learned.
She winked at me and stroked a dark finger down the side of my face, making me shiver. I suddenly felt myself grow hard in a way that I had been told was only meant for Yahweh. I frowned, and she glanced down at my hardness. I felt my cheeks flame with shame, but she only smiled at me kindly.
“Next time you visit, we will have a different type of lesson.” She assured me, though I wasn’t sure what that meant.
“Until next time, Ramel,” she said, and I felt a blooming sense of loss as I turned to leave the endless night of Hell to return to the blinding abyss that I was forced to call home.
Year: 3664 BC
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
—1 CORINTHIANS 13:4
Yahweh did not allow me to return to Hell for a full year. I came to feel sick with the absence of Lilith and did my best to hide it from Him. She was all I thought about, and I replayed my last visit with her over and over again in my mind during our time apart. Shemhazai asked me to retell the story every chance he had. I worried that Yahweh was beginning to grow suspicious of my growing attachment to the Queen of Hell, but if He was, He did not show it.
Finally, the day came when He asked me to check in with her and see if the catalog had made any advancements. Shemhazai squeezed my shoulder in anticipation. He was nearly as excited for my next visit as I was.
When I appeared at the bridge to Hell, my heart leapt to find Lilith waiting for me. I rushed toward her, and I felt a shot of adrenaline course through me as she ran to greetme as well.
Without allowing myself to overthink my actions, I ran my hands up the side of her face and buried my fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp beneath her crown of poisonous flowers.
She closed her eyes and took a delicate, shaky breath. I reveled at the fact that my touch had been responsible for the little sound she had made.
“I missed you.” I stared down at her, willing her to see how much I meant what I said. She looked up at me with that tiny, serene smile on her face and sighed.
“I missed you too, Ramel. It is lonely here all by myself.”
I hated that she was lonely. I wished I could stay here with her always so she would never be lonely again.
She leaned into me, and I felt myself harden as I had before. She pressed those perfect lips against mine, and a jolt of fear shot through my chest, ruining the moment.
I abruptly pulled away, and she frowned at me in confusion.
“What’s wrong, Ramel?” she asked, stroking my face softly.
“Angels are not permitted to engage in lusts of the flesh,” I whispered. “It’s a sin.” Her frown deepened, and she looked angry.
“Please don’t be angry.” I pleaded, not wanting her to be cold to me again. She shook her head.
“I am not angry with you, Ramel. I am angry with Yahweh.” She ran her thumb over my lips much the same way Yahweh did when He wished me to service Him and receive His holy sacrament.
“Does He ask you to put these beautiful lips on Him?” She asked quietly, and I nodded.
“Of course.”
He asked that of all His angels. It was our duty to serve and receive Him.
“Why is Yahweh allowed the exclusive privilege of enjoying sins of the flesh, but His Watchers are denied?”
I had never thought of that before. Every time I saw Lilith, she made me think of things I’d never previously considered.
“Let me show you what Yahweh takes from you with nothing in return.”
