His eyes flashed, and he gave me a deadly smile. “Yahweh does not keep mortal souls in purgatory. The only beings that find themselves trapped in His crystal bowl of nothing are the damned. I think you are like me and Shem. I think you belong here, with us.”
My head was swimming. That wasn’t possible. I wasn’tdamned!My entire life suddenly flashed before my eyes, and the cold truth of it all settled over me.
Was I damned? It would make sense. Of course someone who was damned would have led such a cursed fucking life.
“What? Why? Why am I damned? Why did Yahweh want me to take your place as Death? Why was he having youconditionme?”
“That is what we are here to hopefully find out. I only have a thousand years of memory available to me. Hazai is not able to talk about what happened before my memories go dark, but I suspect it has something to do with you.”
“Trust is a dangerous game.”
—HENRY HILL, GOODFELLAS (1990)
There was acrashand theppprrtttttsound of a cat chirping in the distance. Ramel smiled and laced his fingers through mine.
“Sounds like Hazai has found something.” He smirked, leading me away from the catalog. We found Shem perched in his cat form on top of one of the towering black shelves, licking a paw. A massive ancient tome was splayed across the ground. Ramel picked it up and dusted off the cover.
“Mesopotamian Origins.” He read the title and glanced up at Shem with a smirk. “Just a little bit of light reading, I see.”
Shem meowed at him and got up, stalking down the top of the shelf to a stack of books lying on top. He got to work poking the stack until it teetered toward the edge.
Ramel raised an eyebrow, looking amused as Shem poked and prodded the books until they fell with another loudcrashto the floor.
“Wouldn’t it be less destructive to do this in your human form?” I asked the cat demon. Predictably, he ignored me and leapt off the bookshelf, landing lightly on his feet by the mess he had made on the floor.
“Shemhazai likes to poke things off surfaces,” Ramel explained, and I snorted.
“Believe me, I know,” I replied, thinking of all the glassware he had shattered at my place. Knowing that he was an immortal demon and not a cat made it a lot less cute.
Shem poked one of the books on the ground, and I moved forward to pick it up. The title of this one said,‘The Wives of Adam and the Birth of Sin.’
“Charming,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose at the cover. Shem rubbed against my legs and began purring loudly, and for a moment, I forgot how much I hated him. “I like you way better as a cat,” I said, and he trotted off, heading back toward the exit of the library.
Ramel smirked at me and held out a hand. “Let’s go back to the room. I have some reading to do, and I promised you a nap.”
I eyed his hand suspiciously. Going back to the room felt like I was walking into a trap. Ramel’s eyes softened.
“Just as you can trust me to follow through with my threats, Lilith, you can also trust me to keep my promises. I told you I would let you rest, and I meant it.”
“Fine.” I nodded, reluctantly allowing him to lead me out of the library.
We stoppedat what seemed to be a little infirmary on the way back to the room, and Ramel had my bruises healed. The demon who fixed me up was a plump, rosy little thing, and I was touched by her kindness. She even gave me a lollipop before sending me on my way.
Ramel and I arrived back at the room, and I hesitated before the bed, taking in the chains that were still strapped to the posts. I glanced back at Ramel, who was standing by the door, watching me with an amused expression on his face.
“Are you going to tie me up again?” I asked, and he raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t know, Lilith. Do Ineedto tie you up again?”
I held my breath, my eyes darting from him to the chains. Everything he had just told me was ringing through my mind. It was a lot, and I believed him, but it didn’t change the fact that I was a prisoner and he was keeping me here against my will.
Even if Iwaslike them, shouldn’t I have a choice in what I wanted to do, the same way they did? They acted like I belonged to them, not like I was one of them. I still planned to find a way out of here, so convincing him to trust me enough to let me sleep without being chained up was an important first step.
“No,” I replied, hoping he couldn’t hear the lie in my voice. His smile widened, and he put the books down on the table between the two chairs by the fireplace. He walked over to me and tilted my head up, giving me a soft kiss on the lips.
“Let’s try it. I’ll leave them off for now. Show me that you can be a good girl, and maybe they will stay off… unless, of course, we’re playing.” He smiled at me, and I swallowed.
“Is there something more comfortable I can sleep in?” I asked, missing my cozy cotton band T-shirts.
