“Follow me,” Raf said, and he stepped forward. We passed what I recognized as Yahweh’s Sorter of Souls from my dream, but Rafael didn’t stop there. He led us deeper into Heaven, and to my surprise, there were several hallways and rooms carved into nimbus clouds in these deeper regions. The white clouds had shielded the rooms from my vision in the dream, but as we passed some of these billowing spaces, I started to see things that sparked deep, hidden memories I knew my other self still held.
We were getting closer and closer to midnight. With each second that passed, I could feel myself getting more and more tense.
There was a sudden sharp burning on my finger, and I tried not to outwardly react as my wedding ring burned white-hot. I jerked in Art’s arms as the ring melted from my finger and disappeared into the clouds beneath my captor’s feet. Tearsstung my eyes as I realized my last line of defense was gone. Yahweh must have won the battle with Ramel. Had he unmade him?
A pain was beginning to bloom deep in my chest, and the other Lilith whispered soothing words to me as I writhed in Art’s arms. As we passed one of the cloudy rooms, I noticed what looked like a large clay oven standing next to a massive spinning wheel.
‘That is Yahweh’s kiln; it is where he crafts his angels,’the other Lilith whispered to me, I think in an attempt to distract me from the rising pain of my ascension.‘That is where he created Ramel and Shemhazai.’
‘What is the spinning wheel for?’I asked, and the other Lilith seemed to sigh.
‘Weaving and repairing souls.’
Art diligently followed Rafael deeper into Heaven. He didn’t comment on my relentless writhing. I was sure he assumed I was trying to escape, but truly, I was unable to keep still as the pain of my impending ascension continued to build within me.
‘Why does it hurt so much?’I gasped in my mind to the other Lilith.
‘Because for you to ascend, your mortal body must first die. You are dying, Lilith.’
My heart rate increased, and I felt my eyes widen.
I was dying?
Fear rushed through me, and the reaction surprised me. I had spent my entire life wishing for death, but now that the prospect of it was staring me in the face, I didn’t feel ready. There was so much I still wanted to do. I thought of Ramel and how he would live the rest of eternity thinking I hated him. I realized with a start that it was quite the opposite.
I had been abducted by the enemy and was dying in a traitor’s arms, and all I could think about was how worried Ramel must be and how much I wished it was him who was holding me as I said goodbye to my mortality.
Tears welled in my eyes as I realized he may never hold me again. You didn’t feel like that about people you hated.
I loved him.
It didn’t make any sense, and I knew that I shouldn’t, but I fucking did. Now, I would never have the chance to tell him… or Shem.
‘They know,’the other Lilith said gently,‘they’ve always known, Lilith. You are me, and I am you. We have always loved them, and they have always loved us. You do not need to tell them before you die.’
‘I don’t want this to be the end,’I whispered to my other self. She flooded me with a sense of calm and peace.
‘Death is not the end, Lilith. It is only the beginning,’she promised, just as Rafael and Art turned a corner.
Despite the crippling roll of pain that fired through my body, I gasped as we entered a wideopen space.
There were thousands of angels waiting silently. So many white wings gleamed in the impossibly bright sunlight reflecting off the crisp white clouds. The sea of angels parted, and Rafael and Art made their way toward a large, raised dais where two massive crosses stood.
The cross on the left was empty, but the one on the right was occupied. As we came closer, I realized with horror that there was a god crucified to the cross on the right.
The god was unconscious, and long golden tubes seemed to have been surgically implanted into his abdomen, chest, and neck. I couldn’t see where the tubes led as they snaked into the clouds and disappeared from sight.
He was nude, except for a shimmering piece of fabric that was draped over his hips. It was midnight blue and speckled with golden stars and moons. His navy hair fell to his shoulders in gentle waves, and he had a strong nose with full lips.
The other Lilith nearly cried out in horror in my mind.
‘Hypnos!’she gasped.
My eyes darted from him to the empty cross on his left. Several golden tubes lay curled at the base. I realized suddenly that the empty cross was meant for me.
‘They’re draining his magic and using it to keep the other gods asleep…’I breathed into my own mind.‘They’re going to do the same to us and use us to manage death.’
‘They can’t use the scythe without a demon’s help, even with our magic.’The other Lilith pointed out, and I growled, looking up at Art, who stared straight ahead as if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
