She just shrugged and laughed. “It’s a pretty common punishment around here, and Shem’s right. I really did expect them to do much worse than this.” She started brushing my hair. “Though, somehow, I don’t think I get the added perk of fucking Ramel.” She winked. Her words shocked me.
Wait, shewantedto fuck Ramel? A strange feeling twisted in my stomach, and it wasn’t a good one. I didn’t like the idea of her touching Ramel.
Shem snorted, interrupting my thoughts. “You fucking wish, Jez. You’ll be lucky if I let you fuck anyone ever again.”
She glared at him, and I glanced back and forth between the two of them, feeling uneasy.
“Could you two maybe try to get along? It’s awkward sitting here while you bicker at each other,” I grumbled, and Shem laughed.
“Relax, Lilith, as long as Jezebel remembers her fucking place, we won’t have a problem.”
“I know my place,” she snapped.
He raised an eyebrow. “I know my place,Sir,” he corrected her. I could see the rage burning in her eyes, but she glanced at me and visibly swallowed her pride.
“I know my place, Sir,” she grumbled, and I tried not to flinch. At least neither of them had ever made me call them Sir.
‘Don’t kid yourself. You would like it.’Mean, annoyingly honest ‘other’ Lilith was back. I shoved her back into my subconscious but couldn’t stop myself from smiling. As usual, she was right. I probably would.
“See? Was that so hard?” he asked, his tone condescendingly sweet. “Now we can focus on getting Lil ready.” His green eyes flashed with mischief. “I call picking out the dress. You handle the hair and makeup,” he ordered, sliding out of his seat and over to the wardrobe.
“What do you think, Lil? Feeling elegant and regal, or hot and flirty?” He tapped his index finger on his lips as he perused the options in the wardrobe.
“Are those the only options? What about cute and casual?”
He glanced at me, looking appalled. “You’re not going to Hell’s Annual Samhain Dumb Feast on the night of your coronation lookingcute.”He turned back to the wardrobe, his green eyes igniting with excitement.
“You’ve got to look so hot Ramel fucking busts a nut in his pants as soon as he lays eyes on you.”
I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. These demons were going to be the death of me.
“Vengeance is in my heart, death in my hand.”
—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, TITUS ANDRONICUS
My jaw was aching from clenching it so hard. I hated having Jezebel in the same room as Lilith. I just didn’t trust her anymore. I knew Hazai wouldn’t let anything happen to Lilith while I was away, but there was an aching pit of dread in my gut that I just couldn’t shake. At least he put the collar on her. There was a magical tracker in the heart-shaped lock, so if she tried anything and whisked Lilith away, we would at least know where she was.
Yahweh or an angel couldn’t take Lilith out of Hell, but a demon could. It was something we had never had to worry about before, but until we knew for sure who the mole was, Lilith was in danger.
My insides were twisted with guilt and anxiety. In a way, the thousand years I had spent without my memories had been peaceful. I hadn’t known the pain of watching someone I loved suffer. I’d just been happy to indulge my sadistic tendencies without remorse. I had always enjoyed causing pain, but it was different when you loved the person you were hurting. It was difficult for me to reconcile Lilith now with the Lilith from before. The old Lilith enjoyed pain and would often beg me to hurt her. I knew this present version of her was a masochist as well—I could tell by the way her pussy wept for me whenever I bit her or held her down. However,this Lilith didn’t have a healthy relationship with her love of pain, and it was my fucking fault.
Depending on how things went after she got her memories back, I resolved to try to start over with her. Reintroduce her to all the things I knew she loved, but do so in a way that made her feel safe.
She hadn’t told me that she loved me, but she had said she didn’t hate me, and that had to at least count for something.
With my mind preoccupied, I entered the office to find Art already waiting for me. He was staring into the fire with a pensive look on his face.
“Art,” I said, by way of greeting. He jumped slightly, as if pulling himself out of deep thought before turning to face me. His lips pursed into a grim line, and there was a wariness in his ice-blue gaze.
“How is she?” he asked. I hadn’t seen him since the torture chambers, and though I was still angry with him for being so irresponsible, the concern in his gaze eased my irritation.
I let out a deep sigh and shrugged. “She’s up and down.” I had a feeling she would be up and down for a long time. Recovery wasn’t a straight line, and she had been right. The damage I had caused was not something that could be healed with a few I love you’s and a bubble bath. It was going to take time, dedication, and trust.
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.”
I glared at him. “Yes. You should have, but there’s nothing we can do about it now; the damage is done.” He nodded and slid his hands into his pockets.
“Shemhazai said he asked Gabriel to come and that he would also be attending the feast.” Art changed the subject, his brow furrowing in concern. “Do we really think that’s a good idea? If he’s the mole, who knows what he’ll get up to while he’s here? He could try to free Raf, or worse, hurt Lilith.”
