Her words stung. She was right. I knew she was, but it didn’t make me want to kill her any less. I wanted to belt her down on a gurney next to Rafael in the dungeons for what she had done, but I hadjustpromised Lilith I wouldn’t hurt anyone she cared about without her permission.
Remembering the hollow emptiness that haunted her eyes when I found her curled up in a hot pool of crimson, I couldn’t bring myself to break that promise.
I snarled and released Jezebel. She stumbled but managed to remain upright. She rubbed her neck, wincing slightly as she straightened.
“You’re fucking lucky,” I spat at her. She scowled but didn’t say anything.
“What’s going on here?” Hazai’s voice floated down the hall. Both Jezebel and I turned to find him approaching us with a concerned look on his face. His green eyes took in the rot beneath my feet and the wounds on my chest as he approached. Glancing at Jezebel, he raised an eyebrow.
“If you were smart, you would get back to work, Jezebel,” he purred. His tone was light, but if you knew him, the threat was clear. I had seen him cut through bone with that same smirk on his face. He wasn’t happy with her either.
She glared at us both but turned on her heel and obeyed. Hazai slid his hands into his pockets, and we watched her stalk away, both of us waiting until she was out of earshot to speak.
When I was sure she was gone, I turned to find Hazai eyeing me warily.
“I’m surprised you didn’t hurt her more than that,” he commented, his voice bland. I shrugged, rolling my head on my shoulders and cracking my neck in irritation.
“I promised Lilith I wouldn’t hurt any more people she caresabout.”
Hazai raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Really? That bad?” he asked, concern flickering across his face. I nodded darkly, jerking my head toward the door to our room.
“Come see for yourself,” I muttered and led him into the bedroom.
Thankfully, Lilith was still sleeping soundly. The pool of blood by the dresser was where I had left it, congealing into a dark brown stain. I knelt down and picked up a small cardboard box that Lilith must have dropped and pulled out a tiny silver spoon with the words‘Best Chef’engraved on it. I frowned, twirling the spoon between my fingers, wondering what its significance was.
“Shit,” Hazai breathed, looking at the puddle of blood. “Is this all hers?” There was a strain in his voice as if he was trying to keep himself from showing too much emotion.
I shook my head. “No. Some of it is mine.” I gestured to my cut-up chest and explained what had happened.
“Fuck’s sake. Aetherium is no joke, Ram. What were you thinking, giving her that blade?” I felt my lip curl in anger.
“I was trying to give her the means to protect herself. If something happens to us before Samhain, she’s fucking defenseless,” I snapped quietly, glancing back at my sleeping wife. She looked so innocent and vulnerable. She had pulled one of the many pillows close to her chest and curled herself around it in her sleep. My heart cracked at the sight, and suddenly, I wanted to be that pillow. If she needed to hold onto something, I wanted that something to be me.
“What do you think this is? It was on the ground next to her when I came in and found her carving up her legs.” I handed the silver spoon to Hazai, and he examined it carefully.
“Well, this is depressing as fuck. No wonder she went off the deep end,” he muttered, holding the spoon up to the firelight to read the engraving. “She ordered this the night she came home with that brownie Mike had given her. You know, the night before you fucking killed Sam and ripped the small shred of happiness she had finally managed to find away from her… I think it was supposed to be a thank you to Mike for his little gesture.”
A growl rumbled in my chest. It wasn’t like Hazai to make me feel like shit for the choices I made, even if they were justified. I glanced down at the alarmingly large pool of congealing blood on the floor and decided to let it go. He was clearly upset that Lilith had harmed herself and was looking for someone to blame.
I supposed I deserved it on some level. However, it wasn’t uncommon for us to torment humans. I couldn’t count the number of times I had returned to Hell from some mission to find that Hazai had chained several humans up for us to play with. We were fuckingdemons.It was what we did. I hadn’t known who she was. If I had, I never would have hurt her like that.
“I feel like shit enough as it is without you fucking rubbing it in, Shemhazai,” I growled, and he gave me a hard look. We glared at each other for a long moment before his shoulders relaxed, and he finally softened.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just… this could have been really bad.”
“I know,” I said, running my hand angrily through my hair. “I don’t even know if I would have been able to stop her soul from leaving her body if she had nicked an artery with that blade. I’ve never been so fucking terrified.”
I hadn’t even been that afraid when she had stepped into Yahweh’s bowl of purgatory. At least there had been the hope of getting her out. I didn’t know what would have happened if she had managed to kill herself with that blade. Would I have been able to reincarnate her? I shook my head in an attempt to dislodge the uncomfortable thoughts.
“What happened with Rafael?” I asked, hoping the change in topic would distract me.
A small smile curled on Hazai’s lips, though it didn’t reach his eyes. I couldn’t help but notice he kept glancing back and forth from the pool of blood on the ground to Lilith’s sleeping form.
“The seed worked. I have to say, watching Rafael saw off his own cock is one of my top five highlights for the year. It was fucking epic.”
I smirked. His cock would grow back, of course, but going dickless for any amount of time wasn’t exactly something any male wished to endure.
Shem chuckled. “Art nearly puked when I tossed it in the bucket. It was gnarly.”
