“Talk to us, Lilith,” Ramel whispered, touching my chin.
“It’s nothing, I just feel sad. Like I’m mourning the loss of the person I used to be before I came here,” I whispered. The words surprised me, but I knew in my heart they were true.
Today had been a turning point. I knew tomorrow I wouldn’t be plotting to run. I wouldn’t be fighting them anymore. It was futile and useless to try, so why bother? Part of me was relieved. Things would likely be much simpler and less painful if I just stopped fighting. However, I couldn’t help but feel like accepting my fate here meant killing a part of myself that I hadn’t known existed. The part of me that was human. After my birthday, I would never be mortal again.
Ramel’s frown deepened, and he gave me a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. “It’s okay to like it, Lilith. I know you have some voice in your head telling you that all this is wrong and that you’re fucked up for wanting this, but it’s okay. I’ve told you before, we’re meant to be together.”
Shem twisted a piece of my hair on my other side.
“It’s also okay to mourn the loss of the person you were before, but you should also be celebrating the birth of this new version of you.” He touched my chin gently, turning my head to look at him.
“You’re going to come into your own, and you’re going to see how perfect you are. How perfect you’ve always been.”
“I just don’t want to lose who I am,” I whispered, my voice cracking.
“You won’t,” Ramel promised. He sat up and tugged on my collar. “Let’s take this off.”
My eyes widened, and my heart leapt.
They were taking the collar off?
Ramel chuckled and leaned in, kissing me softly, as Shem jumped up to get the key for the lock that had hung from my throat since my first night here.
“Don’t look so surprised, deathtrap. We told you that if you submitted, you would be given free range of the manor. You kept up your end of the deal.”
I couldn’t keep myself from grinning. Sure, it was fucked up that I had needed to earn the privilege to wander the manor alone, but who fucking cared?
Shem pulled on a pair of black sweats before crawling back on the bed with the key. He unclipped the lock, and Ramel unthreaded the leather from the buckle, tossing the collar to the side with a smirk.
“How does that feel?” he asked, and I beamed at him, rubbing my hand over the bare skin of my neck. It felt almost strange now to not have the thick leather strap around my throat.
Strange, butgood.
“Amazing,” I breathed, and both he and Shem smiled. Ramel got up and slid into his clothes before pulling together a clean outfit for me. He leaned against one of the bed posts and watched me get dressed with an amused look in his eye.
“So, tell me. Where is the first place you’re going to visit with your newfound freedom?”
Shem strolled over to the chessboard by the window and flopped down in one of the chairs, stretching out with a satisfied grin on his face.
“Ten bucks says she goes to the library first,” he chuckled, and I cut him a look, though it was playful.
“You don’t know that! I might go to the kitchens. I haven’t cooked in forever,” I mused out loud, and both Ramel and Shem exchanged a glance.
“Well, if you make anything good, make sure you bring some back for us.” Ramel smirked, and I nodded excitedly in my leggings and an oversized cable knit sweater.
“Obviously.” I grinned. Ramel reached out and grabbed a fistful of my sweater, pulling me into him for a kiss before releasing me. I turned to leave when he cleared his throat.
“Just a couple rules before you go,” he said, and I bit back a groan, spinning back around to face him. I rolled my eyes, and he growled.
“Watch it, deathtrap. This is a privilege. I will not hesitate to put that collar back on you if you start to act up.”
“Okay, okay,” I sighed, flopping down on the bed. “What are the rules?”
“If a door is locked, it means that you are not welcome.”
I raised an eyebrow, immediately interested. It was like telling someone not to push a button. OfcourseI now wanted to go find all the locked doors to see what was behind them. He narrowed his eyes on me.
“I’m serious, Lilith. Promise me you won’t go snooping in places you don’t belong.”
