I scowled at him. “And what’s your excuse for the rest of it?”
He chuckled softly and tapped my nose. “As for the rest of it, you’re crazy if you think I’m going to wait three more weeks to be with you. When you get your memories back, you’ll understand. I’ve waited over four millennia to have you back in my arms. I refuse to wait another second.”
I searched his eyes and realized with an aching sadness that he was telling the truth. He loved me in his own fucked up way. I knew there was a difference between love and obsession. What Ramel felt for me teetered on the edge of both.
“I don’t want to have to punish you, deathtrap. That doesn’t mean I won’t if you make me. So, please. Be a good girl so we can enjoy the day.”
“Obsession is the wellspring of genius and madness.”
—MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE
Icarried my little deathtrap to the bathroom and took my time washing her. Massaging her scalp, I reveled in every moan that escaped her lips as I scrubbed her soft, perfect little body clean.
I had been obsessed with her before, but now that I had my memories back, every moment I wasn’t touching her was excruciating. It killed me that she couldn’t remember what we had and that she was still a somewhat unwilling participant in our relationship. I wished she wanted me as badly as I wanted her, but I had meant what I said. I wasn’t willing to wait another second to be with her.
I knew once she got her memories back, she would understand. She would know what it felt like to float in purgatory for millennia with nothing to do but yearn and crave the other. The fact that Hazai had his memories this entire time and knew what he was missing and who exactly it was that I was fucking tormenting for the last twenty-two years just made everything worse. I can’t imagine what it had felt like for him to watch me make my worst fears for Lilith become a reality.
All I had ever wanted was to take her loneliness from her. She had spent so long down here by herself. When I found her, I promised myself I would make sure she would never be lonely again.
FuckingYahweh.
He hadn’t just made sure she was lonely. He had ensured that I was the direct fucking reason for her loneliness. This was not something I could forgive or move on from. Shemhazai and I had our work cut out for us.
We needed to get Lilith back to normal, and we needed to find a way to make sure that Yahweh couldn’t retaliate. The problem was that Lilith was usually the mastermind behind most of our little schemes. Shem and I knew how to plan a war or win a battle, but when it came to the history of the world and how magic worked, Lilith had always been the scholar.
“Where’s Shem?” Lilith asked me as I handed her an outfit for the day. I didn’t miss the tiny smile when she realized it was a pair of leggings and a Bad Omens hoodie. I had been tempted to parade her around Hell in a full-on gothic ball gown like the little queen she was, but I knew she would rather be comfortable.
“He’s at breakfast making sure everyone understands their roles, so we’re free to spend the day with you.”
I watched her get dressed and shoved down the aching desire to throw her on the bed and fuck her again. If I allowed every impulse to consume me, we would never leave this room, and I really did want to show her the rest of her queendom. Once she was ready, she glanced up at me with hope shining in her eyes.
“You’re really going to take me outside and show me the rest of Hell today?”
I smiled at her and nodded, tugging on her collar gently. “We sure are. Let’s go; we don’t want to keep Hazai waiting.”
I didn’t leash her,but I brought it with us as a clear warning as to what would happen if she stepped out of line. Hell was dangerous for any mortal, and although the demons here knew what would happen if they fucked around with my bride, I didn’t want to take any chances. I needed her on her best behavior if we were leaving the safety of the House of the Fallen.
We found Shem in the middle of a group of busy demons in the dining hall, barking out orders and checking things off on a shiny black clipboard.
“How’s everything going so far?” I asked him as Lilith and I approached. He beamed at us.
“Excellent. Art’s working out the details for the dumb feast, and the pumpkins are ready. We can harvest them at any time for the carving contest.”
I nodded, smiling. Lilith was looking around wide-eyed as demons bustled about.
Samhain was the only time of year when the veil that separated Heaven, Hell, and Earth dwindled to nearly nothing. This is why, historically, humans started the tradition of carving pumpkins and dressing up as monsters and demons. The idea was to confuse our kind and keep us from dragging them down to Hell with us.
Of course, the idea was ludicrous. A costume or a jack-o-lantern was not going to trick a demon or an angel. However, the pagan traditions fascinated Lilith, and she adopted many of them for the festivities down in Hell.
Yahweh had adopted many of the pagan traditions as well. However, instead of mimicking them and celebrating with the humans, He stole them and modified them to fit His agenda. Christmas was the most obvious one, but He also had a hand in switching Samhain to Halloween and Ostara to Easter, along with several other traditions.
“This is amazing. You guys really go all out.” Lilith observed, watching demons decorate the great hall with a mix of merlot and cream-colored pumpkins.
“Well, Samhain was originally a celebration of The God of Death. Little did they know it was all about you, deathtrap.” I smiled at her and pulled her into me to kiss the top of her head. “That is likely why Yahweh made your birthday on Halloween. He likes to give a little sick nod to all the things he effortlessly stole from the mortals.”
“Fucking prick,” Shem muttered, crossing off another item on his list. He snapped his fingers, and the clipboard disappeared in a puff of smoke. “Alright, I think all these assholes have their marching orders. Grab something quick to eat from the table over there, Lilith, then let’s get out of here. We have a lot of shit to see!” He beamed at her, and my stomach flipped at the genuine smile and gleam of excitement that sparked in her eyes.
“Okay!” She nodded and hurried over to the table Shemhazai had stocked full of coffee, muffins, and breakfast sandwiches.
