The next time she enters, I’m sitting on the floor, leaning up against my bed with a blanket wrapped around me. She places a bottle of water in my hands with the cap off. I take a drink. That’s good, so I take another. Iblink slowly.
“Summer?” I turn slowly and observe Sue. “Sweetheart, I’m worried about you. You’ve been unresponsive all day. I’ve got Sarah on video here. Can you talk to her, please?” She sets my laptop on my knees.
My therapist is looking at me from the screen, and she looks very worried. She hasn’t given me that expression in a long time. I blink again. “Hi Summer. Sue called me and filled me in on your situation. How are you feeling right now?” she asks.
I’m numb…I think.
“Okay, let’s try something else. Are you able to understand me, Summer? Nod your head for yes.”
I slowly nod.
“Great, you’re with me. Let’s begin with breathing. We won’t talk, just breathe like I showed you. Sue is going to sit in front of you and breathe with us. Nod again if you understand.”
I nod once.
“We’re going to take a deep breath in. Watch Sue, Summer. See her chest rise as she breathes in deep.”
I watch Sue breathing in and try to do the same.
“Hold your breath until I count to three. One…two…three. Now slowly let your breath out, Summer. See how Sue is relaxing as the air leaves her lungs?”
I let go of my breath as Sue does.
“Wonderful. I’m counting to three again, Summer. One…two…three. Now, take a big breath in again, everyone.”
I watch Sue breathe in and copy her.
“Good, I’m counting again. One…two…three. Now, let your breath out slowly again. Great. One…two…three. Excellent Summer. Let’s continue our breaths,” Sarah says.
We keep going until I slowly become more aware and blink a few times quickly.
“Summer? How are you doing? Can you direct your attention towards me on your laptop?”
I see Sarah on the screen. “I’m here,” my voice sounds like a frog croaking.
“Fantastic. Hi Summer,” she smiles. “Sue, I’ve got it from here. Thank you for calling me.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit, sweetheart,” she pats my arm before she gets up and leaves, closing the door quietly.
“Summer, I want you to keep taking slow breaths in and out for me and drink some of that water you’re holding, please.”
I take a few small sips of water while focusing on my breaths.
“Excellent Summer. Now, can you let me know what emotions are going through you?”
“I’m completely numb.”
“Your system is overloaded. Your body shut down your emotions to cope. That’s okay and not unexpected. You were not prepared for the news yesterday. At this stage, we will only focus on taking care of your basic needs, okay?”
I clear my throat. “Okay.”
“Good. So right now, are you still thirsty? Or perhaps hungry?”
My stomach grumbles in response.
“I take that as a yes,” she chuckles. “Why don’t you grab the bagel that’s on your nightstand and start eating.”
Looking over, I see a toasted bagel with cream cheese.Huh, when did the bagel get here?Grabbing the plate, I stuff my face while sipping on my water. Once I finish everything, I direct my attention back down to Sarah on my screen.
