“Oh, man, thank you. I’ll want that pic from you after you get here. Z, I’m hanging that up in the lounge when you get back.”
“You shithead. I’m hanging up now.” Zander hangs up and shakes his head. “That is my business partner. Believe it or not, he’s in charge of security.”
“He seems, um, fun?” I’m trying not to laugh at the situation, but I know my face must showamusement.
“He’s something, alright,” he grumbles. “Now, am I really supposed to use that thing to skate?” Zander points at the penguin with a look of disgust.
“Well, yeah, that’s what they’re for. You don’t have to.”
“Might as well,” he sighs. “Troy’s never going to let me forget this.”
I show him how to hold the penguin, and after a few false starts, we slowly make our way around the rink. He tells me stories about him and Troy and gives me more information about his company. He tries to leave the penguin behind after our first full circuit, but falls on his butt again, so he sticks with it for the rest of the hour. It’s…nice and I don’t feel nervous by the time the hour is up. Zander keeps up a running commentary, so I don’t have to say much.
After we get off the ice and back into our boots, we take the penguin and skates back to the office and stroll back to the SUV. Zander looks a little stiff, but when I ask if he's okay, he says he’s fine, just a bruised butt and ego. “I was able to book us a flight for Thursday morning. Will that work for you?”
“Yeah.” Geez, only a few more days in Virginia. The more things that happen, the more real this is.
“Good,” he looks at me. “I’ll email you the itinerary later today. Do you need help with anything? Luggage? Boxes?”
For some reason, the ticket and talk of luggage makes me mad. “No, I bought some luggage with Sue last week, after Mary told me I had no choice but to move.” Bitterness coats my words as I practically spit the answer out.
Zander looks disappointed, but tries to mask his reaction. Dammit, the way I said that sounds terrible, even to me. Here he is, all excited about me, and I’d rather stay here. “I’ll drop you off at home. Are you seeing Jake tomorrow? Mal told me you usually visit on Tuesdays and Fridays.”
“Yeah. I’ll probably spend a few hours there tomorrow since we’re leaving Thursday,” I reply as my surroundings blur.Don’t cry, Summer. Suck it up.I open my own door this time when we get to the vehicle, chucking my skates onto the floor before climbing into the passenger seat, slamming the door a little too hard. I’m being irrational, I know that, but it’s getting too real and I’m having trouble coping.Way to go, Summer. Get your new father upset with you.I’m giving myself whiplash with all the warring emotions inside.Should I apologize to him for how I said that, or just shut up? Before I can decide what to say, he speaks.
“Can I meet you at the facility around dinnertime? I’d love to talk with Jake and Mal again.”
“Yes” is my simple answer. I watch out the window as he drives us back home. Well, it won’t be my home anymore in a few days. I try to do some deep breathing to calm myself. I'm being rude to my new father, and I only have one last visit with Jake. My emotions are bouncing all over the damn place. Anger, sorrow, fear, indignation. Ugh!
I thank Zander for the skate when he parks in the driveway and hurry out of the SUV. Quickly unlocking the front door, I rush inside, yanking the closet door open and throwing my skates inside, uncaring where they land. I sprint to my room, tearing my winter clothes off my body, letting them fall to the floor as I reach for my laptop to call Sarah. “Hi Summer,” she greets. “What can I do for you?”
“Hi Sarah. I’m leaving on Thursday.” I sit on the edge of my bed, scooting my butt back until I’m against the wall, and put my laptop on my knees.
She looks at me with understanding. “And you’re overwhelmed?”
I nod. “We went ice skating, and I was doing pretty well until he asked if I needed luggage. Then, I was rude to him, and he seemed so sad that I wasn’t happy about this move. Then he asked if I wasvisiting Jake tomorrow, and I realized it’s the last time I’ll see him for a while.” Tears dribble down my cheeks as I get my story out.
“It’s alright, Summer. Allow yourself to experience the emotions. I'm sure Zander can appreciate that this transition is hard for you. You could text him if you feel you need to apologize. With Jake, remember you’re not abandoning him. Mal will set the phone up for you whenever you want to talk to him. You can continue your Tuesday and Friday visits.”
I nod along with what she’s saying. “Mal gave me a picture of her and Jake and a bottle of his cologne to take with me. Does that sound pathetic? To take his scent with me?”
“Does his scent make you feel better?”
“Yeah, it calms me down whenever I smell his cologne.”
“It sounds to me like the cologne is a helpful tool for you. There is nothing pathetic about it. Now, what would you like to do tomorrow besides visit Jake?”
“Zander wants to meet me at dinnertime to see Jake and Mal. Sue planned to shop and spend the day baking for my trip to Charleston.”
“Okay, that leaves packing your things up. Need to shop or finish anything before you go?”
“No, I don’t think so. I already transferred my school stuff to the cloud, and I have luggage,” I shrug, wiping my sleeve over my cheeks as the tears stop. We discuss when and what to pack and talk more about my erratic feelings.
“Great. You have a plan now. Take a few minutes after our chat to write it down so you have a list to look over. Remember to take these changes one moment at a time. Just do one item on your list and don’t worry about anything else. How are you doing now?”
“Better. Thanks Sarah.”
“You’re very welcome. Did you enjoy skating, otherwise?”
