Me: Okay. We’ll plan something.
Dane: When?
Me: I’ll let you know.
Dane: Mm… I look forward to seeing you on your knees, Babygirl.
Me: Sigh.
Dane: Are you pouting?
Me: Yes.
Dane: Why?
Me: I don’t want to wait.
Dane: You’re the one who’s got the power here. You let me know when and I’ll be ready.
Me: Okay. I’ll get back to you.
Dane: Good. I like you needy.
Me: I bet.
Dane: ??
Me: ??
Dane: Get some sleep and no touching.
Me: That’s not faaaiiirr.
Dane: I want you needy.
Me: hmph.
Dane: Trust me.
Me: Mm… fine.
Dane: Goodnight, Babygirl.
Me: Goodnight…
Dane: ??
He was demanding and I liked it. What I didn’t like was that I wanted to listen, to be needy when I crawled into bed. I wanted to wait until I saw him again. It was like a bucket of ice-cold water poured over my head. I was drenched. We hadn’t even seen each other yet and already he had this much sway over me.
I was in trouble.
I dropped the phone. Lifting my chin, I stared into the darkness. I was back in this room where unspeakable things had happened to me, but still, it was my only safe haven. I breathed carefully. Now that my focus wasn’t on Dane, you’d think I’d spiral again, but that wasn’t what happened. I was too sexually frustrated to hear the thundering clouds of my depression. Iusually couldn’t outrun it, but tonight, they were held at bay by the heat of a single image and the weight of a stranger’s words.
Dane is going to wreck me.
I pushed off the floor, and walked to the bed. The same onehe’dheld me down on. I pulled the sheet back and crawled into the safe space where I’d once been held down, but the air didn’t feel as thin tonight. I buried my face in the pillow, replacing the stale memory of Amos with the vivid, tatted man I barely knew. I let my mind drift to those muscular arms and the heat of thighs I wanted to feel beneath me. For the first time in years, the shadows in the corners of the room didn’t look like monsters. I fell asleep with the taste of a smile on my face.
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