"Falbh a ghabhail do ghnùis airson cac."
Gretchen lifts her brows."What did you just say, Kirk?I assume it was in Gaelic."
"Aye.I told Neil 'away and take your face for a shite.'"
The lass sits up, her sharp gaze nailed to me."Please tell me you aren't determined to do that pressing-the-feet-together silliness."
A shadow falls over me from behind, and I crane my neck to see who's blocking my sunshine.
"Of course he'll do it," my father pronounces."For all his life, we tried to stop him from doing outlandish things."Da smirks."By the time he turned eighteen, we'd given up on that idea.He's more stubborn than any mule."
I push up onto my elbows."Maide-leisgwill be cakewalk after the Hill Run."
Gretchen tries to help me get up, but I shoo the lass away."Ahmno ninety years old.I can still drag my own erse off the ground."
Once I'm vertical again, I ask who will be taking part inmaide-leisg, but no one seems to know yet.Rory MacTaggart has been canvassing the area to find out which men might agree to the event, which isn't quite the most coveted Highland sport.But Rory and his brother Aidan eventually find two willing competitors.
Magnus MacTaggart and some eejit called Kirk Balfour.Aye, it's MacTaggart versus Balfour.
Gretchen sets her hands on her hips, aiming a halfhearted scowl at me."All right, Kirk, have it your way.Go on and push your feet into another guy's feet for whatever silly macho reason you two have for doing this."
I kiss her cheek."Thank you,gràidh."
And so, themaide-leisgevent begins.
Magnus and I take our places on the ground facing each other.My legs are still wobbly from the Hill Race, but I'll be damned if I let it show.We place the wooden stick---themaide-leisgitself---between the soles of our feet with our legs bent at the knees.A small crowd has gathered around us, including Neil and Tam who are making betting gestures to some of the other lads.
"Ready to get yer erse handed to ye, Balfour?"Magnus asks.
"In yer dreams, ye great lummox."
Rory stands between us with one hand raised."Remember the rules, lads.Feet pressed together with a stick between ye.The first man to push the other back or make him let go of the stick is the winner.No dirty tricks, MacTaggart."
Magnus feigns offense."Since when do I need dirty tricks to beat a wee man like you?"
"On three," Rory announces, glancing between us."One...two...three!"
The moment Rory gives the signal, Magnus and I press our feet together with the stick between us.I feel the burn immediately in my already-exhausted thighs, but there's no way I'm letting thisbaltanwin.The wooden stick groans under the pressure as we both push with everything we've got.
"That's all ye got, Balfour?"Magnus grunts, his face reddening from the effort.
I waste no breath on answering his taunt.Instead, I dig my heels into the grass and push harder, feeling the muscles in my calves scream in protest.The crowd surrounding us has grown larger.Their cheers and jeers blend into a roar of excitement.I notice Gretchen covering her eyes, peeking through her fingers with an expression that says she can't believe she's marrying this lunatic.
"Come on, Kirk!"Neil shouts."I've got twenty quid on ye!"
I can feel the veins in my neck bulging as Magnus and I remain deadlocked, neither ready to give an inch.My legs burn something fierce, but I'll be damned if I'll show weakness now, even as the wooden stick creaks ominously between our feet.
"Ye know," Magnus pants, "I heard ye needed a stunt double for the Hill Race."
"How strange," I grunt back."I heardyouneeded one for getting out of bed in the morning."
That earns me a laugh from the crowd and a scowl from Magnus.I can see his concentration falter for a second, two at most---and that's all I need.With a mighty heave, I push forward with everything I've got left in my sorry body.
Magnus's eyes widen in surprise as he clearly feels himself sliding backward.The wooden stick wobbles between our feet as I gain the advantage.My thighs are burning like I've dipped them in hellfire itself, but the look on Magnus's face is worth every ounce of pain.
"Bod an Donais," I hear Neil shout."He's actually doing it!"
I can hear Gretchen's voice cutting through the crowd now."Come on, Kirk!Finish it!Destroy the bastard!"
