“I know. My eyes are closing,” I tell them as Lex moves me to the side and onto my back.
“I tongue fucked you to sleep?” Lex asks, and it’s true that was his finishing move, but it’s not fair to give him all the credit.
I giggle, the lightness of the sex chemicals erasing some of the heaviness I’ve been feeling. “Hadrian was here too.”
Hadrian brings a damp cloth and cleans me up. I smile once at both of them before allowing myself to fall asleep while they clean me and slide me more fully into the bed. I don’t fall into a true sleep until they’re done, and when they climb into bed next to me, I melt into bliss.
Part of me does wonder, though. Is Soren okay?
CHAPTER 26
SOREN
I standin the open doorway as the three of them fuck, but despite standing right here, they don’t see me. “I’m sorry,” I say, but none of them hear me. I try to scream it, but the words are cut off, strangled in my throat. The curtain hangs open, the moonlight revealing a malicious smile on Lex’s and Hadrian’s faces. They hate me, and they want to punish me. It’s working. Sable shines like a radiance in the bed, glowing in the moonlight as she moans her pleasure. She is so beautiful, even beat up, even in the darkness. I know I don’t deserve her, but fuck, it’s hard not to look at perfection.
Guilt eats me alive, leaving me hollow, bleeding, and watching as they moan and writhe. It’s my fault that all of this happened to her. I’m the one who chased her away. “Please, I’m so sorry,” I beg again, not because I want them to accept me, but because I need them to stop hating me so damn much. I step into the room. The smell of her is so thick here, the sweet scent of her skin, her cunt, it’s everywhere. As I watch, she stares me in the eyes, challenging me to do something.
As I watch her face contort, her hair changes color, and suddenly, Arabella stares at me from between Lex and Orion. They still can’t hear me as I start screaming my lungs out.
I open my eyes to the hotel room. I’m in bed, and no one is fucking any longer, but if I thought for one minute I might get some peace, I’d be dead wrong. There isn’t a person alive, including me, who would offer me any. Lex stands above me, hands gripping my shirt, and I quickly realize why the nightmare stopped.
“Lex,” I say, my mind slowly coming back to reality. I’ve been asleep for a while, and my head is too damn clear.
“You’re going to wake up Sable,” he says, and suddenly, the reason for his concern clicks right into place. She is hurt and needs rest, and I was screaming out loud too.
“I won’t,” I say, pushing him off me and sitting up. “I’ll stay up,” I promise. I don’t really want to fight with him, especially when he has every reason to be mad at me, and that dream is so fresh in my mind. Everything hurts. My head, heart, and stomach all revolt against the sensation.I need the damn pills, I think to myself, trying to remember where I put them. My jacket hangs over the chair, and I head toward it to solve my own problems.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he seethes. “It’s your fault she left us. You have no goddamn right.”
I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but he shuts up as I grab the pills out of the pocket and turn toward the bathroom. I don’t even bother until I’m inside before opening the bottle. My back to him in the dark should be enough privacy. The lid turns beneath my palm, and I crush two between my teeth as I cross into the bathroom. It tastes like absolute shit with a hint of sweetness, but at leastthiswill stop soon. Rather than the door closing behind me, he steps into the path of it and prevents me from getting away from him.
“What were you screaming about?” he demands as he flips on the light and blinds us both.
“I was having a nightmare.” That’s obvious. We both know it, and he stares at me like if he does it hard enough I might fess up. There isn’t a chance in hell of that happening. As he stares me down, the drugs start to take effect, and a mellow sense of pleasantness floats through me. I remember all the reasons I have to feel absolutely awful, but instead of empty and dead, I’m warm.
Lex furrows his brow as he looks at me, like he’s seeing something for the first time. I don’t need to know what new and awful reason he’s come up with to hate me. I ruined six people’s lives at once because I managed to get drugged by Arabella. Jesus Christ, I don’t think there’s a person alive who hates themself more than I do. If it weren’t for the high buzzing behind my eyes, I would jump out the window and get all of this over with right now. He continues to stare, and his appraisal burns like my father’s. My hand moves to the back of my neck, nervously grabbing. My feet cross over one another, and I nearly trip.
“Soren, look at me,” he says, but I don’t. What’s he going to get out of it anyway? All of them hating me fucking sucks whether I look him in the eye or not. Hell, he just got to fuck Sable. I don’t think there’s anything he can possibly do to hurt me worse than having every goddamn thing I want in the world. He steps into my space smelling like cologne and Sable. My head swims as I try to keep myself standing. There’s too much happening, too many things threatening to break through the haze.
All of a sudden, his hands are on my chest. He pushes me until my back hits the wall, and my head follows after it. The pain is nothing, but it increases the buzzing in my skull. His hands are all over me, and I’m not sure what to make of his actions.
“You trying to fuck me, Lex? Heard I’m easy to take advantage of.” His hands pause for a moment at that, but they’re moving again a moment later. I realize what he’s trying to do too late, and the pills slide out of my pants pocket. Real fear shoots through me, and I try to grapple him for them. A wide hand collides with my cheek, and my mouth hangs open, hardly able to believe he slapped me.
“You’re not going to fight me over a bottle of pills. Do you understand?” I manage to nod. My gaze avoids his like the plague, but I watch his hands as he opens the bottle and spills some into his hand. “The fuck are these?” he asks as he rolls them around. They’re round, markingless, and a pale blue. “Where are you getting these?”
“An actual doctor,” I quip. “Not some thug, beating me up because I had a nightmare.”
“Then why the fuck aren’t they coded?” He ignores the rest of what I said, and I shrug. Frankly, I never looked that hard at them before I sniffed them. “Soren, who gave these to you?”
“My family doctor,” I enunciate each syllable. “Why are you saying gave them to me like I’m a fucking child and I’ve been dosed with something?” The question burns. Isn’t that exactly what I am? Isn’t that exactly how Arabella was able to get what she wanted from me?How did she drug me?I ask myself again, like it even matters anymore.
“I’m taking these,” he says. I’m about to argue, to fight him if I have to, but I remember the extra script I picked up. I just need him to leave me alone for a while so I can get them out of my backpack.
“Do whatever you have to do.”
His eyes search me again suspiciously, and I realize a moment too late I should at least have tried to argue a bit more. Giving in so easily is suspicious when I’m so clearly attached to them.
“Whyare you so fucking high, Soren?” he asks.
