Cuttingpeople apart used to mean something to me. At least I think it did. It was at least a means to an end, or maybe a goal I felt inclined toward. Now, it’s nothing but a painful waste of time when I could be looking for her. Plus, guts stink.
My gloved hands dig through slick organs, looking for a cause of death that doesn’t matter. This specialty doesn’t matter; the extra work I’m trying to accomplish doesn’t matter. I pull out the liver and weigh it.
“Whatever a liver weighs,” I call to Cillian, who makes a note but says nothing. A time when she stood beside me and asked me clever questions cuts me apart as surely as I cut this cadaver. Nothing matters since Sable left.
And my mentor is a liar.
I don’t know why. I don’t know how, but he knows more than he’s let on. So far, he isn’t cracking. We’ve been back at Bellthorn for three days, early for the semester, but deadlines are looming over us outside of the usual coursework. I hadn’t planned for a tense days-long standoff between the two of us, but I also didn’t expect him to come back.
“Is something wrong?” he asks. His innocent tone reeks of guilt with Sable missing.
“It’s been a month since anyone has seen her,” I say. “Any ideas where she might be?”
“Nothing has changed since the last time you asked me.” Cillian’s story has been the same this entire time, perhaps too perfectly.
“It just doesn’t make sense for her to ask to go to the dorms.”
“Maybe she was meeting a friend.” His pen scratches across the paper.
“She didn’t have any friends.” There wasn’t a soul at Bellthorn actually looking out for her, not even me. My miserable heart sinks.
“Soren was the last to see her. Not me. So, even if I did know why she wanted to go over there, I’m not the last person who was with her.”
The reminder is a gut punch, and unfortunately, completely true. I don’t know what Cillian was up to or why, but Soren is the reason she’s gone.
“Why did he let her leave?” I’m not actually asking Cillian. I’m just so overwhelmed I can’t help but speak out loud.
“He was screwing around on her, and she found out.” He shrugs. “Most cheaters are cowards.”
“Cheaters are cowards.” I hate to agree with him when I can’t trust him, but I do. I turn away from the body, ripping off the gloves and dropping them in the trash. My exhaustion is suddenly bone-deep. I can’t stand to be around him anymore when I think he’s enjoying this game, and I’m no closer to finding her. At the very least, I think he enjoys the fact that the founding families are without a toy to play with.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“You can take care of this,” I say instead of answering.
“Yes, but I’m not supposed to. You are.” He tips up his chin, challenging me with his blue eyes. He’s maintained his innocence, but his attitude says otherwise. He’s always heldsome resentment toward me, but he’s never openly defied me the way he has in the past few days.
“Report me,” I say, but it doesn’t have the playful tone it would have before. It’s a threat.
“Whenever you actually find out what happened to Sable, you’re going to owe me a huge apology, Morwen.”
Instead of telling him to fuck himself like I’m inclined to, I head into the hall, slamming the door behind me. My hands start to shake uncontrollably, and I curse myself and how far from okay I am without her.Sable. Sable. Sable.I silently beg for her return. Mocking religious men is a pastime of mine, and prayers have always seemed ridiculous, but I can’t help my weakness now. I don’t care if I’m begging an empty universe. That’s how badly I need her.
If you bring her back to me, I’ll devote my life to helping others.
My phone vibrates, lighting the screen with a notification. I hold my breath before I look at it, not able to afford the disappointment of hope. When I finally face it, the message still glows.
Soren: We have Sable. Bring your medical shit. She’s hurt.
The shockand anger that he’s texting me only lasts a moment as the words process.
“No shit,” I say as I look around, feeling like the universe suddenly just got a whole lot more mysterious. The emotions come one after another, too intense to fully process. Joy, fear, shock.Why the hell is she with Soren right now, and how did he, of all people, find her?Rage courses through me as I thinkback to the day a month ago when I found out why Sable left us. Soren had just promised her all kinds of things before running off to fuck Arabella again.
Goose bumps rise on my skin as I stare at the text. My head tingles, and I only realize then that I’ve stopped breathing. She’s hurt, and nothing else matters.What the hell happened to her that she’s hurt?
Me: If she needs immediate attention, take her to the ER.
Soren: Get us a room in the La Chalet hotel near campus.
