He doesn’t say anything, his eyes burning the envelope in my hands. I rip it open and scan the contents before cursing loudly.
“Fuck, we need to show Sable this.”
CHAPTER 68
SABLE
The coffee isbitter on my tongue as I lean against Lex’s counter, adding to my bad mood. Secrets swell and pile, making my brain feel like an outdated computer, and no amount of crappy-tasting caffeine seems to be helping. Losing the bedroom hurts, but losing the bedroom when it was supposed to be mine is something I can’t let go. Questions that Nina posed swirl through my head too, and I’m no closer to a conclusion there either. A part of me trusts her, and there’s some deep connection there urging me to believe her, but she herself told me I’m stupid not to ask more questions. Of course I have to question this.
The guys are off doing different things this morning. All of them have ideas about how to handle this and what to do next. Once again, I feel like the weakest link, too fragile to offer anything to the situation. Maybe there was a time I was okay with that, but it’s long gone now. Now, I need to do something other than sit on my hands to keep me from shoving a shoe through someone else’s eye.
I’m supposed to have Cillian’s class today, but that asshole was nowhere to be found. Will he show up today out of the blue? It wouldn’t be the strangest thing he’s done. Whatever winds uphappening I can’t simply stay in and think about everything I hate. Too many people want to prevent that.
“Eat something, Sable,” Lex insists, waving a plate of pancakes he made in front of my nose as I stare into space. He brings me forcefully back to the present, and I sigh as I look at him and the food I can’t stomach. Lex arches an eyebrow when I don’t take the plate from his hand right away. I never refuse food, especially when it’s delicious, fluffy pancakes made by a hot guy, but the lump in my throat is making it impossible for me to just sit down and have breakfast like nothing happened.
“Come on,” he says, staring back unblinking, and I realize this may not be a fight worth having.
With an eye roll, I take the plate and move to the table, sitting down and feeling even more caged. He places a bottle of syrup next to me, and I dutifully pour it on. He watches carefully, forcing me to give up on the idea of moving the food around my plate. I take a bite under his gaze and hum with approval when the sugar hits my tongue.Maybe I can eat, after all.
“What can I do to make you relax?” he asks. “I hate seeing you this tense, and it’s not good for your recovery.” Lex, more than the other guys, realizes how deep the injuries I got fighting my uncle run.
“I don’t know at this point,” I say honestly, and I’m not being difficult. Things keep piling up, and just a desire to survive won’t cut it anymore. There are too many lies out there, and if I keep running, I’ll run for the rest of my life.
“Anything?” he presses.
“Finding out what is going on.” I sigh. “Whatever our parents did, we can’t ignore it anymore. I can’t keep running when they tell me to run. I need to know why the four families decided to destroy both of my families.”
Lex looks at me carefully, his eyes clinical, and I shift in the seat, eating more of the pancake. It feels like he knows something I don’t as the loaded silence builds all around us.
“And what are you going to do withusonce you uncover everything about the four families?” he asks. Guilt, fear, and a bit of vulnerability add to whatever he feels so strongly about.
Of everything I expected him to say, this wasn’t it. I shake my head, eyes narrowing. “What does that mean, do with you?”
Lex shrugs. “I know enough about them to know things are not going to be pretty. Whatever the reason they had behind it all, the fact remains that they destroyed your dad and his family. What they pinned on him changed your life. We are responsible for all of that in a way.”
“And then they brought me here to be your whore,” I say, adding to his misery unintentionally. “ Responsible?” I ask. That’s incredibly silly. “Do you expect me to blame you for all of that and run away again?” That guilt flashes brighter.
“When you thought it was just Parker, you were more accepting,” he says, taking the seat beside me. “This is all a lot heavier than a boyhood stalker.”
“Yes, it is,” I agree. Things are far more complicated here at Bellthorn than I ever dreamed. “However, Parker is an idiot, but I think he means well.” We both chuckle with that one. “But really, he wanted to protect me, and he did. He brought me in when Uncle Carl was the alternative, and we know how that went. My feelings are complicated, but no, I don’t blame you guys, Lex.”
My hand absently finds the opening on my robe, and I touch the scar Uncle Carl gave me. It looks much better than before. Lex was careful with the stitching, but it’s not close to being fully healed. I argued with the guys about scheduling the removal, but the appointment can’t come fast enough now.
“Most days I want to kill that fucker for you all over again.” Lex’s eyes are hard, his hands closing into fists.
“It’s done now.” I wave his beautiful words away. I would have loved to watch them all kill him instead of having to fight for my life, but there’s no changing it.
“You shouldn’t be so quick to forgive the heirs of the people who destroyed every single thing you love,” he says, and his guilt is starting to make perfect sense to me.
I lean over the table, resting the fork and knife against the plate. “What if they are now what I love the most? Why wouldn’t I forgive them for things they didn’t do? The sins of the father don’t belong to the son, Lex.”
A small smile curves his lips, bringing butterflies into my belly.
“Are you religious all of a sudden, Miss Briarwick?”
I’m always nervous when he takes on that tone. “No, not particularly.” I’m a murderer now, so that probably wouldn’t be great for my future afterlife.
He ignores what I said. “Still, I think I deserve a punishment just for carrying the name Morwen, and maybe you’d like some atonement?”
