“Good luck tonight, guys,” I say, then turn the camera on just myself. “And I’ll be going live again later, so get your pregame snacks ready and I’ll see you soon.”
I press a button on my screen and let my smile drop away. Noel isn’t around, so I’m skipping his pregame interview. It’s not like I can knock on his office door and risk seeing the desk I squirted all over. I was embarrassed enough when it happened.
It’s fine. I’m going to be fine. I just signed an endorsement deal with a big cosmetics brand, and it came with a six-figure check. It’s enough to pay the house off and still have some left over.
It’s December and we’ve gotten a lot of snow recently, so it’s hard to even think about the offseason, but when it gets here, Talia and I are taking a weeklong trip to a luxury resort in Thailand. We already have it booked, and I can’t wait.
I’m a busy woman with a full life. I don’t need a man to be fulfilled.
Beingfilledby Noel, though? I miss that with my entire being. Images of his expression when he’s about to come will live rent-free in my mind forever, along with the way he looks wearing nothing but gray sweats, his chest bare and his dark-rimmed reading glasses on.
Maybe he’ll hook up with Victoria now, and they can do fortysomething bullshit like wine tastings and 5Ks. He knows what I want, and he’s not willing to do it.
I leave the locker room, relieved the part of my day that includes possibly running into Noel is over. A local jewelry store that’s been a longtime team sponsor recently increased their spend significantly, so we do a kiss cam spotlight sponsored by them at every game. I have to go film an interview with a couple we’re running a quick video package on tonight before the kiss cam. They’ve been married for fifty years, and he bought her engagement ring at the jewelry store that’s our sponsor.
Honestly, fuck love. I’ve perfected faking it, so I’ll look like I’m charmed by them and their story. I probably actually will be because they fell in love a long time ago. Before Tinder and dick pics and situationships.
Fucking Noel. I had it all figured out before him. I was an independent woman who loved her life and occasionally relied on a great vibrator for my sexual needs.
Now I’m bitter, jaded, and so horny I can’t even think straight. My vibe doesn’t have commitment issues, but it also doesn’t edge me until I’m panting and call me its dirty fucking whore.
On our last road trip, I came so close to knocking on Noel’s door. I made it into the hallway, planning to tell him we weren’t going to talk at all—just sex.
My lady bits were leading me there, but I stopped myself. If we just have sex, that’s giving him what he wants and forgetting about what I want.
Anyone who’s embarrassed by me doesn’t deserve me. If I’m not embarrassed about being with a forty-seven-year-old, why should he be embarrassed by me? Wouldn’t his friends envy him?
It’s his kids. I know it is. And as much as I hate to admit it, I get it. Talia would be mortified if she knew about us. She’d feel betrayed—not just by him, but by me, too. I guess the only upside to losing Noel is getting to keep my friendship with Talia.
I’ll get over him. It will take time, but it will happen. I won’t get with Isaac or anyone else from the team because I learned my lesson with Noel.
Isaac could become a good friend, though. He’s easy to be around and he makes me laugh.
I go to my office for a break before my interview with the couple, toeing off my heels and sitting down in my office chair.
I’m in a game day outfit—black leggings and a Crush hoodie. Even though it’s been two weeks since our fight, when I was getting dressed this morning, I couldn’t help thinking of Noel. I was wearing this same outfit in early November before a home game, and he pulled me into a conference room for some heavy making out. He got me off just from rubbing me through my leggings, and he left the room with a smile even though he didn’t even come.
He has a gift. His hands are magic, and I miss them every day, along with his mouth and basically every other part of him.
This is what I get, though. I knew the risks. The playing with fire part was deliciously fun, and now I have to deal with the getting burned part. It hurts more than I thought it would, though.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Noel
Audra sits aloneat my kitchen table, staring out a window at the falling snow. I’m off today, other than watching film in my home office later, so I sit down next to her.
“What’s on your mind, Aud?”
There’s guilt on her face when she looks at me. “You don’t want to know.”
I pinch my brows together, forcing myself not to overreact. She shuts down when I do.
“You want me to take my dad hat off and put my friend one on?”
A smile tugs on her lips. “I don’t think you can do that.”
“Try me.” I pretend to take off a baseball cap and put another one on.
