That was curious in its own right.The man I’d remembered being didn’t have long-term partners.Even before the Edict, he’d liked to keep his options open, and since Ian’s party had rolled into power and changed all of the rules, that idea had never been more relevant.
Why get involved with a woman in the new order?I’d never wanted to marry, and I sure as hell didn’t want any children.I’d thrown the question around in my head while I waited for the doctor’s conclusions, but so far, there had been no light bulb moment.
“Do you think these lesions are causing my amnesia?”
Ignoring the officer, I focused on the doctor.Until Kasper had something to say, my health seemed the greater concern.
“It’s possible.”The doctor pressed her thin lips into a hard line.“But not likely.I am no neurologist, Mr.Harper, and neither am I a psychologist, but I wonder if the gaps in your memory are your brain’s way of making sense of what has happened to you.”Once again, her attention flitted to the police officer.
“You think I’m putting it on?”I scowled.“Because I can assure you, there are some things I genuinely can’t recall.”
“No, no.”Her hand rose to dismiss my allegation.“Not that you are lying about the symptoms.More that the amnesia is a coping mechanism, that is all.The memories are there, but you are refusing to accept them on a subliminal level.”
“But why?”It was Kaspar who spoke that time.“The commander general didn’t seem coy about his contacts or accomplishments before he was rushed here.”
“My question exactly.”My eyes met the officer’s gaze for the first time, and as though a channel had been changed in my mind, I realized that she was the officer who’d read me my rights in that tiny hallway I recalled.
“The brain is a complex organ.”The doctor shrugged as though her ambiguity was helpful.“I can ask the on-call neurologist for a second opinion if you prefer.”
“I just want my memories to return.”Exasperation oozed from my tone.
“We know how frustrating it must be to not remember.”The nurse’s smile was kind.
“Indeed.”Kaspar folded her arms across her chest.She hadn’t said so, but I was getting the distinct impression that she was skeptical about my memory loss.
“What about the lesions, then?”My attention slid back to the doctor.“If they haven’t caused all this, are they anything to worry about?”
“We will wait for the neurologist’s view on this,” the doctor started.“But I see no causal link between them and the hypertension which brought you here.Since you do not conform to lifestyle factors such as obesity, it is more likely that the latter was induced by variables such as stress and dehydration.Do you drink alcohol?”
“Erm, yes.”A myriad of memories involving an evening tipple sprang to my mind, as did the decanter I used to pour the drink from.I paused at that, sure the object was relevant somehow.
“What is it?”The nurse’s prompt was soft, yet insistent.“Do you remember something?”
“I remember my old decanter.”It sounded ridiculous to admit that was what had come to mind.“I used to have a drink from it every evening.”
Often, more than one, but I didn’t mention that fact.
“Decanter?”Kaspar stepped forward.
“Yes.”I was surprised at how interested she was in the admission.
“That is what Miss Craness mentioned.”Kaspar’s gaze traveled from the doctor to me.“She was the one who told us about your head injury.”
“Miss Craness?”My brow furrowed.
“You remember her, I assume?”Kaspar laughed, the sound shrill and hollow.
“No...”I stared at the three women encircling my bed.Coming from such a heavily patriarchal society, so much female attention was taking some getting used to.“Should I?”
Kaspar’s brow rose.“I should say so, Mr.Harper.You told me only yesterday how much you love her, and my colleague assures me she has been hysterical since your collapse and is desperate to see you.”
“I love her?”I parroted the words uncertainly, but instantly, the image of the brunette I recalled flooded my mind.“I remember a woman who was with me when you arrested me...Is that Craness?”
“That’s her.”The smile that lit Kaspar’s face seemed sincere.“She’s waiting outside to see you, actually, but I wanted to speak to you first.”
My gaze shot to the door on instinct.“She’s here?”
My pulse sped up as I considered what that meant.I only remembered the woman in hazy fragments, yet for some inexplicable reason, the idea of her seeing me looking so weak was deeply perturbing.
