I rise from the bed and cage her against the wall, pinning her hands above her head. I don’t know what I’ll be capable of if she leaves me. I won’t hurt her, but I know I’d go mad. She’s like my oxygen—if she leaves me, I’ll feel like I’d die without her.
“I need to be in control because that’s how I know things will go the way I want them to.” I kiss her forehead, her lips, her cheeks. “My obsession with you goes deep, Lilac. I can’t picture my life without you.”
She frowns. Her breath quickens. Her jaw tightens. She straightens her spine.
“I don’t know if I want you controlling my life. Yeah, I want you. But my life is my life, Irvin.”
My ears ring with a pulse. Her words burn my chest. She doesn’t understand how much I need this from her.
“Do you know how far my obsession goes, Lilac? I would go to great lengths to keep you. Do you understand?”
She swallows thickly before she nods. “When you told me that if you could free me, you wouldn’t—you really weren’t lying.” She blinks back tears. “I’m not only stuck with you physically, but mentally.”
I don’t reply. I wipe her tears and kiss her. I release her wrists. At least I’m being brutally honest with her. I would destroy the world for my princess. All I want from her is for her to promise me she won’t ever threaten to leave me.
“I won’t ever leave you, Irvin,” she sighs. “But am I just a pawn to you?”
I can’t believe she would ask me that. She’s the only person I have more respect for than anyone I know. She doesn’t realize how much I love her, how precious she is to me.
I shake my head. “You’re the only person I don’t view as a pawn.” I stroke her neck. “You’re the only woman I want and need.”
Before she can respond, I kiss her softly, then fuck her until we’re both out of breath.
Lilac
During the week and a half since Winter’s attack, everyone has been on edge. Lyrical and I avoid the café and the gazebo because we share too many memories with Winter there. Irvin has guards walk me to class when he can’t attend with me.
Our relationship has changed since the night he told me I can’t leave him.
I’ve given up on trying to manipulate him, so now I’m going with the flow. I have to go back to the drawing board on that one. I don’t know if I should continue to fight against him. He made it clear I can’t leave him—or even mention it.
I hated admitting to him that I wanted him. It felt as if he had the upper hand when I spoke those words. And the fact that he doesn’t care he tricked me into this marriage sends a chill down my spine. I was at least expecting an apology, but Irvin doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior.
I stroke my lips, still feeling the imprint of his mouth on mine. The way he fucked me senseless all night. The way he felt between my legs.
I walk to Winter’s hospital room, and nothing has changed. The doctor said the swelling in her brain went down, but she hasn’t shown any improvement. I try to keep the tears at bay. I try to be optimistic about her condition, but thoughts flood my mind with what-ifs.
What if she doesn’t wake up?
What if Snow and the board members don’t catch the killer?
I’m not a stranger to death, but it doesn’t make it any easier to lose someone you love.
I pull a chair next to her bed and stroke her cheek. Then I pull out her favorite book—a philosophy book, which is part of her major—and read to her. In neuropsychology, I learned it helps with stimulation of the brain.
My phone buzzes. I click on the envelope icon.
Unknown number: Meet me at the auditorium on campus.
My skin prickles. What the fuck?
I drop the phone on the tile, then slowly pick it up. The message disappears.
Who is fucking with my mind?
Another message pops up.
Unknown number: If you don’t show up in twenty minutes, I’ll send this to Irvin and post it on the school board.
