I lean down and kiss his neck. Slowly, I unzip his pants, pull him free, then slide my panties to the side and lower myself onto him. For once, I’m choosing to be with him—choosing to make love to him.
He sits up and pulls me into his arms, holding me close. Tears shimmer in my eyes, and I feel free. I feel at home. I feel like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
No more lies.
No more manipulation.
Just the two of us—me choosing to accept his darkness.
I’m choosing the very thing that scares me.
Us.
Our relationship.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He flips me onto my back and fucks me hard and fast. This is the first time he’s ever made love to me without trying to control me. Neither of us is controlling the other.
Raw.
Pure.
Chaotic.
He pulls out of me, then wraps his mouth around my clit as I slide my fingers into his hair. I ride his face until I come undone—until I come all over his face.
He slides back inside me and fucks me so hard that the headboard knocks against the wall. Moments later, I feel him come inside me.
Then he lies on his back. I climb on top of him and rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
He’s mine. Always has been. From the moment I met him last year—when I approached him with a sex kink.
I love this beautiful man of mine, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Desire blooms in my chest. I’m no longer Paige. I’m no longer the girl fighting her past or running from her darkness.
I’m Lilac—fully owning my choices, my desires, and my decision to be with Irvin Ashford.
He’s no longer my lunatic.
He’s my forbidden flame.
He knows it. That’s why he tattooed my name on his face.
He wraps his arms around my back, squeezing gently.
For the first time, I exhale.
For the first time, I feel loved unconditionally.
For the first time in my entire existence, I know what real, raw love feels like.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Irvin
Lilac and I stay together all morning, making love. I fuck her how I want to. I didn’t have to change for her to accept me—she accepts me for who I am, the man who loves her unconditionally, raw and real. I’m still obsessed with her. I would still kill for her. I still control her. The difference is, she chooses me every day.
