His words send a chill down my back.
“I saw a video of you killing Irvin, someone showed it to me.”
“Who?”
“Unknown number.”
“The exact sameunknown numberyou said threatened you?”
“I wasn’t lying, I know what I saw!”
He strokes my back. “Princess, I never denied you saw it. I clarified I never saw it.” He shakes his head. “So that’s why you’ve been acting strange lately? You thought I killed someone.” He kisses my forehead. “Babe, I wouldn’t keep anything from you. I’ve been upfront that I only kill for assignments and if someone is a threat to me. I wish you believed me.”
He storms out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He didn’t deny that he killed the other students. Only Irek. Though I can’t really trust myself on what I saw.
I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I almost got caught. I thought for certain Irvin had figured out who I really was and what had happened. I need to know how he connected the dots—that Emerson is my foster brother. I have to be careful. I have to keep up my lies. He can’t know who I am. If he does, I’ll lose everything.
I already lost my freedom to him, and I don’t want to lose my past, either.
Lilac
Later that night, Irvin comes into the living room. He left earlier after our fight, and I feel incredibly bad. He was only trying to ask me questions, and I panicked. I don’t like the way he pries into my past, which is why I told him how I really felt—how I think he is the killer.
He leans against the wall now, silent, then pushes off and strides toward me. He doesn’t say a word as he kisses me, then lifts me and settles me on his lap.
“I didn’t kill Irek Williams,” he says quietly. “Where did you see the video?”
“Someone sent me a message to meet them in the auditorium,” I reply. “They put it on the projection screen. Of you killing him. I saw it.”
“Are you sure that’s what you saw?”
“I know what I saw.”
“My princess, you hallucinate.”
He’s right—I do. And now I don’t know what to believe. My own thoughts? My own memories?
He strokes the side of my cheek. “I would never kill anyone unless they were a threat to you. I already told you that.”
I nod because deep down I know that’s true.
“I don’t get off on killing innocent people, Lilac. I’m not normal, but I’m also not the kind of not normal that harms someone for no reason.”
“Why does my opinion matter to you anyway?” I ask. “You don’t care about anyone’s opinion.”
“I care about yours, my princess. Everyone else? I don’t give a fuck about them. But you’re special to me.” His voice drops. “I told you—I’m too obsessed with you. I wouldn’t jeopardize my freedom and risk being apart from you.”
“You did when you went against the board to marry me.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
He intertwines his fingers with mine. “I need you tied to me so you can’t go anywhere. I need you to be mine, even if you didn’t want to be at the time. I need control so I can prove my love to you.”
I pause. He’s told me he loves me before, but I thought he was just being sarcastic. I understand now—his obsession is rooted in control, and his control is rooted in his love. He can’t let me go emotionally. He needs me and won’t hurt me. And I realize I feel both safety and terror in his obsession with me.
