“If you’re tired, feel free to go lie down. I’ll be fine on the couch until Dean gets back.”
“I’m okay for now.”
When we first got here a couple of hours ago, Reagan and Tempe were sitting in the kitchen, wide awake after what happened at the clubhouse. Stress hung like a cloud in the air as Luna and I explained everything that went down.
But when Tempe started rubbing her belly and wincing, we cut out some of the details. She doesn’t need to be worrying like that right now.
Once they went back to bed, Luna and I sat on Reagan’s couch, not talking. I get the sense she’s also processing what happened, even if she seems to be doing a better job of it than I am.
It’s late now—or early. I glance at the clock and see it’s four in the morning. Reagan said she made up the guest rooms for us, but I can’t imagine closing my eyes with Dean still out there. He could be in church. Or worse, he might have left to chase the men down who did this.
The thought of him putting himself in more danger tonight after he’s already survived a shoot-out has my mind racing. Memories blur with the events of the evening, blending the past and present together.
“Tonight was a lot.” Luna sits on the couch beside me. “The club can be a lot. The guns—”
“Guns don’t bother me.”
Her eyebrows pinch. “Oh, I just saw you were shaken, and I assumed that’s what you were worried about. I know most people aren’t used to all this.”
“And you are?”
“Unfortunately.” She frowns.
“Me too… kind of. Back home, people will do anything to protect their land. I grew up surrounded by guns. That part doesn’t bother me.” I frown. “But that guy on the patio with his leg twisted… it was something about the way he was positioned that reminded me of my mom. I’m just a little shaken.”
The image of him twisted in his chair bleeds into memories of her at the bottom of the staircase. Bile rises in my throat as my mind works between them.
Luna’s eyebrows pinch. “Did something happen to her?”
I swallow hard, wishing I didn’t still see it in my mind like it was yesterday. “She died from falling down the stairs.”
It happened so soon after Dean’s mom passed away that a part of me thought it was a nightmare I’d wake up from. It was too unlikely to be real. Less than a year prior, we’d buried his mother. And with her, we’d known it was coming.
My mom was fine. A little too drunk, a little too often—but fine.
It didn’t make sense.
She was there, and then she was gone. It all happened so fast.
“I didn’t realize.” Luna frowns.
“It was a long time ago.” I try to downplay it because she didn’t mean to touch on a sore subject, and I don’t want her to feel bad about it. “She died right after my high school graduation. Right before Dean left, actually.”
“That’s a lot all at once.”
“Yeah.” For both of us. “I know they say the universe only throws at you what you can handle, but it sure threw a lot that year. At Dean. At me. Even if he had stayed, I don’t know that we could have gotten past the mess we were living in.”
Luna shakes her head. “I know how that goes. But you’re here now. You and Chaos seem to be building bridges.”
“I’m trying, but I don’t know if I can ever erase all the mistakes I made.”
“You said this all happened right after you graduated. You were kids back then. Everyone fucks up at that age.”
“There’s fucking up, and then there’s what I did. When Dean needed me most, I turned my back on him. Worse than that, I chose his brother. That’s not exactly forgivable.”
“Did you love his brother?”
“No.” I scowl. “It wasn’t like that with us. I just… didn’t have a choice.”
