Prologue
Chaos
Fourteen Years Earlier
The only sliver ofshade on this miserable summer day is the slip of shadow in the alley between the feed store and the pharmacy. I lean against the brick wall, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it while I wait for my brother to finish football practice across town.
I’m sick of being his babysitter when we’re barely a year apart in age, but at least waiting for him gets me out of the house and away from my asshole stepfather. Sometimes I sit and think about what life could have been like if Mom hadn’t moved on the second Dad bailed when I was born. Then again, if she hadn’t married Tate within those first few months, Kincaid wouldn’t be here. He might be a chore, but he’s my brother.
I look after him, and he tries to convince me to stay out of trouble. He’s the good son in our family, always toeing the line.
The honor roll student.
The athlete.
The golden child.
Kincaid is the perfect example of everything I’m doing wrong with my life, and his father makes sure to point that out every chance he gets. Tate’s never taken it easy on me. And since Mom got sick a year ago, that’s only gotten worse.
She’sonly gotten worse.
Some days, it feels like she’s already gone.
Not all death is instant. Cancer has been claiming her bit by bit for a while now. At least it’s yet to steal her smile.
I close my eyes and rest my head against the brick wall behind me.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Grandpa says it’s all going to be okay, but it stopped being okay a week ago when they sent Mom home, and she stopped trying to fight the cancer slowly crawling around inside her. I don’t know what’s worse, watching her suffer through the fight or knowing it’ll soon be over.
I take a drag of my cigarette. The ember at the end glows. Mom’s voice rings in my head as my thoughts float with the hit of nicotine. She’d kill me if she found out I’m smoking again, but what does she expect?
I’m tired of caring.
I’m tired of waiting.
I’m tired of pretending nothing is wrong.
My eyes close as I take another drag, and I let my mind drift to my surroundings. Tires crackle against pavement. Voices ring through the streets. The hustle around town is a song in my head. White noise that calms me. Until someone rushes around the corner and slams into my side.
“What the hell?” My eyes fly open as I shift on my feet.
A tiny girl with jet-black hair and storm-gray eyes quickly steps back. “I’m sorry.”
Emotions war in her gaze. Her cheeks are the prettiest shade of pink as she fights to catch her breath.
She’s not from here—I’d know. Lanceleaf Valley is a small town where everyone knows everyone, and I’d sure as heck remember seeing this girl before.
Squatting down, I pick up the cigarette that fell when we collided and dust it off. “In a hurry?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
“No problem.” I take a drag, watching her.
She frowns. “Aren’t you too young to be smoking?”
