“Is that a demand?”
“Yes.” She pushed her forehead into my chest. “God only knows what you’ve done to your heart by experimenting on yourself. Especially after that heart attack you had two months ago. Jesus Christ, do you have any idea how reckless?—”
“I have every idea, but it’s fine. I’ve developed the drug and—” I broke off. “Miedda.”
“What is it?”
“I thought he was talking about Red, but what if it’s Vangelin that’s caught his interest?”
As I calculated the likelihood of Martinez being interested in my clinicallyuntrialed drug, I still took note of how she stiffened in my embrace.
Which is when I recognized I’d fucked up.
“Red?! Oh, my god. How did I forget that was discussed at dinner?! I knew it was Sicilian but?—”
Her hands shoved at me, but my instinct was to tighten my embrace.
“Let me go, you jackass!”
“It isn’t what you think!”
“No? This route you took to create a new type of heart medication didn’t involve you stumbling across an erectile dysfunction treatment?”
When that pretty mouth tautened into a sneer, I shifted my hold on her, cupping her elbows to keep her close. “And I regret it. Every fucking day I wake up on this godforsaken planet.”
“Why would you sell something like that? Why would you think to distribute it? You had to know what the fallout could be!”
“I tested it, trialed it, but I didn’t take into account how much those fucking morons would overuse it.”
“Bullshit!”
“And… I needed the money.” Heart on my sleeve, I made the shameful confession, fully aware there was no redemption for this particular sin. “I had to fund?—”
“No. You didn’t. You’re not board-certified! What use is your drug if—” She cut herself off. “Currau said you have a PHD. In medicine?”
“Pharmacology, with a masters in biochemistry.”
“Jesus.Areyou board-certified?”
“Yes.”
She rubbed her hands over her arms. “This kind of project needs backing.”
“That avenue wasn’t open to me with my ties. I had to keep this private. That’s why I needed the funds. It’s unofficial right now, but I’m?—”
“What about the people who got hurt along the way? Don’t they matter to you, you asshole?”
“I’ll burn in hell for what they went through.” The simplicity of my statement seemed to startle her. No artifice wouldapologize for the monstrosity of my creation and I didn’t bother trying. “I never claimed to be a good man, Kitty.”
“No, you didn’t.” Her eyes fluttered to a close like the strain was too much for her. “I-I think I need to get some sleep.”
Distance was the last thing I wanted between us, so I murmured, “Did you want more leverage over me?”
“That wasn’t enough?”
I’d earned her snarl, but to be honest, I preferred her rage to her sorrow.
I deserved the former, never the latter.
