“My father was raised on the island and became an accountant.” He barked out a laugh. “But it’ll always find you. This fucking poison that is our world.”
“What happened?”
“It was my fault.”
From the sheer absence of nuance in his tone, I could sense how badly this hurt him. How this admission tore at his insides and raked them raw.
Despite my own weariness, I rested my hand on top of his because he was being truthful and I knew how rare and precious that made his confession.
“I got involved with drugs.” His knuckles, scored with ‘OVER,’ rapped against his temple. “Too clever for my own good sometimes.
“I know I don’t look like it. ‘Stan’s a brick wall. The fists. You want someone fucked up, send Stan in.’ That’s what I do. But my brain’s always gotten me into trouble.
“You ever just need silence?”
“I was raised with three brothers and two sisters. What do you think?”
“Different kind of silence,” he corrected, his lips curved.
“Where your brain never stops racing?”
“Yes.”
I hummed. “I get it. You used drugs to cope?”
“I did.”
“Been there, done that too.” Right after Vinny’s death. When the world had been cruel and cold and dark and I hadn’t wanted to be a part of it. I’d only gotten past that time because Neev had needed me to step up so I had.
His shoulders sagged, that impressive posture of his crumbling as he admitted, “My dad tried to get me out but…”
“Too late?”
“Yes. Getting me out involved getting himin. He ended up managing the books for my dealer as a trade-off. The dealer’s business expanded, came to the attention of the big boys, in walked theFamiglia,and who did they recognize?”
I gasped. “Your father?”
“Distinufucks with you every time.”
Distinu—destiny—fate.
“When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
His brows furrowed at the random-to-him but not-to-me question. “A chemist.”
“Not a mobster?”
“Never that. We weren’t of this world. Not really. But our bloodmade it so. My brother was supposed to be some madcap history professor. Aurora…” He shrugged. “The second she found out about Currau, her life changed. She wanted to free him. Being a lawyer was the only way to make that happen, and so she dedicated herself to that path.
“The past was always coming at us. We just didn’t realize we’d been standing on the train tracks, waiting to be mowed down, since the day we were born.”
“Now you reign over your slice of Manhattan,” I murmured, touched by his story, though it had rammed home my own unfortunate, precarious position.
“We do, and Martinez was right—the West Coast has come under Sicilian power ever since my sister’s wedding.” He turned away from the pool and leaned back against the marble balustrade. “Do you know why they have brought you here aside from our meeting on the plane?”
“What?!” The notion sent a shiver of fear rushing down my spine. “You mean… you think he wants us here, specifically us, for a reason? Not you?!”
“I think so, yes. Martinez is a clever man. He doesn’t make a move without being ten steps ahead.”
