“That’s an understatement.” My voice was hoarse.
He moved up my body, dropping kisses on my stomach, between my breasts, my throat. When he reached my mouth, I kissed him deeply, tasting myself on his tongue. It should have been strange but it wasn’t. It felt intimate. Right.
My hand moved between us, reaching for the fastenings of his pants. I wanted to touch him. Wanted to give him even a fraction of the pleasure he’d just given me.
“Iris—” His hand caught my wrist gently but firmly.
“Let me,” I said against his mouth. “Please.”
“I can’t.” The words came out ragged. “If you touch me right now, I won’t last. And I want our first time to be when we’re safe. When I can take my time with you properly.”
I looked down between us. I could see the outline of his cock clearly—hard and thick—and my mouth watered. “You don’t have to?—”
“I want to.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I need to wait. For you. For us.” He took a shaky breath. “Trust me, I want nothing more than for you to touch me. I want to bury myself inside you right now. To feel you come apart around me. But not here. Not like this.” He let out a quiet chuckle. “Understand that I have not done this before, with anyone.”
I blinked up at him. “You’re a virgin?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” He grinned. “Most Destrans don’t experience strong sexual desire for another until they find their mate.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said, genuinely surprised. “That’s not in the reports.”
He ran a finger over my nipple. “There is much about my kind that isn’t in the reports.”
I shivered. “I assumed since you’re, well, since you look like you do, and you’re very good at connecting with people that you, um…” Before meeting this male, I’d never struggled to speak plainly. But now, I couldn’t get a clear sentence out. Especially this awkward, uncomfortable one.
But Baleck just laughed and pulled me closer. “Iris, despite what you thought, I do not leave a history of sexual conquests wherever I go. You are my sexual history, and I would like my first time to be someplace safe and comfortable.”
The restraint in his voice made my chest tight. He was holding back because he wanted our first time to be special. And if I were to read into his words, because he was a little nervous.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He kissed me again, slow and deep, then rolled to the side. He pulled me against his chest, and I went willingly, tucking myself against him. His arm came around me, holding me close.
I could feel his heart pounding. Feel tension pulsing tight through his body. The evidence of his arousal pressed against my hip, but he made no move to address it.
“You’re amazing,” I said quietly.
His chest rumbled with a soft laugh. “I was going to say the same about you.”
“I’ve never…” I trailed off, not sure how to articulate what I was feeling. “That was different. I don’t even have words.”
“Good.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You deserve to feel pleasure like that. To be worshipped.”
The word made me shiver. Worshipped. Like I was something sacred rather than something broken and scarred.
We lay there in silence for a few minutes, our breathing gradually slowing. I traced idle patterns on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart under my palm. The scar I’d touched earlier was raised under my fingers, and I followed its path absently.
“We should try to rest,” Baleck said eventually. “We’ll need our strength tomorrow.”
He was right. Tomorrow we’d have to sneak past Brakken patrols, make our way back to the Raycer, and get back to Rezor’s compound without being caught or killed. The odds weren’t great, but we had something worth fighting for beyond just survival.
“I can almost feel the gears whirring in your head,” I said. “Tell me your plan.”
He shifted slightly. “The Brakken don’t see well in bright sunlight, like you said earlier, so we wait until midmorning when the sun is highest. That gives us the best advantage.”
“They’ll have patrols around the ruins regardless.”
“Yes. But they’ll be hampered. We’ll move quickly and quietly. Avoid open spaces. Use the shadows.” His hand stroked down my back in a soothing rhythm. “The Raycer is hidden about two kilometers from here, in a ridge on the eastern side of the ruins. We can make it if we’re smart.”
