The bed was a new, wicker one, but the sheets were the same. The bedside table and dresser hadn’t moved.
I pivoted, opened my mouth and she pointed a finger at me, and said, “I swear to God, if you say “it’s the same” one more time…”
I held up my hands.
“It feels like like home,” is what I said instead.
“Hmm, better.”
“Coffee?” I offered.
“You know where the filters are.”
Most of the day was spent essentially sight seeing, reintroducing me to LA.
Unlike Becka’s apartment, the city had changed. The little Greek coffee shop I’d used to get us pastries and coffee from had long since gone.
“They didn’t last a year after lockdown,” Becka said, with a helpless shrug.
“Oh, that sweet old couple,” I lamented. “George always used to give me extra apple cake.”
“And that was good apple cake,” Becka agreed with a sad nod.
Christmas had come and gone, and much like the day, so too had the pop up shops changed their themes. Becka pointed outthe little stores that only days ago had proudly displayed Santas and elves, but now spilling out the front doors were neon disco balls, party hats with ‘2023’ emblazoned across them. Novelty glasses, feather boas, massive, blow up champagne bottles, and every variety of tacky decoration you could possibly dream of to ring in the new year with.
“So fickle,” I remarked.
“Commit to one holiday, or none at all,” she agreed, linking arms with me.
“Fair weather purveyors of holiday spirit.” I stuck my nose up in the air as we walked past, giving in to the giggles once we were some distance away.
Becka had a nail appointment to go to. She gave me the option of tagging along, but I insisted that I’d actually rather just walk around for a bit. She gave me a weird look.
“Babes, it’s too cold to just walk around.”
I lifted my smart watch to look at the temperature display.
“It’s twelve degrees. A mild, midwinter day.”
“What’s that in real world temperature?” Becka asked, a teasing glint in her eye.
I took a moment to think. “Um, like, fifty-ish?”
“Kaiya, that’s practically arctic for LA!”
“You’re so soft,” I said, shaking my head.
I had missed her so much.
When Becka left to go to her appointment, I made good on my intention to just sort of wander about. I had some vague notion to go walk the stars along Hollywood and Vine, but I ended up in a very different part of the city.
I almost couldn’t help myself. I made the trip downtown to visit the Pisces building, all the time telling myself not to bother, but in the end, I stood outside and looked up at the place where I associated so much of my life changing irrevocably.
Once upon a time, I’d stood here and looked up at the building, thinking it would be the spring board into a career I thought I’d always wanted.
Now, I know it’s where I learned exactly what I didn’t want.
I felt conflicted as I couldn’t stop myself wondering if my life was better because of the building. Where I’d given up on a dream. Where I’d met him, and all the events that followed. Boardrooms. Korea. A castle in the clouds. A storm cloud dress. A goodbye I haven’t recovered from.
