“No you can’t,” he said, pointing at the stool next to me. “Your surgeon was very clear. No, bloody lifting! Not even a kettle!”
She waved him off, but to my surprise, sat down, not quite able to hide the wince.
“How are you, mum?” I asked, not really expecting her to answer honestly.
She sighed, a small exhalation as we watched my dad fill the kettle.
“I’m a bit sore, love,” she admitted, taking me by surprise. “But at this stage, everyone is pretty confident. We’ll know more in the coming months.”
I opened my mouth to ask more, but she held up a hand, wincing at the movement.
“Ky, I know you want to know things, and I am glad to see you, love, but I don’t want to go into it. Not just yet.”
I nodded. Of course she didn’t. She’d just gotten home from hospital.
“This bloody thing is all I’ve been talking about for so long, and now…” she gestured vaguely at the padded, uneven shape under her blouse. “I just want to get on with it, because going into any detail makes it sound like I’m about to pop my clogs.” She attempted a smile, but it looked brittle. “I want to hear about you.” Mum reached across the counter to grasp my hand, her cool fingers wrapping around mine. “Your dad told me some of it, but I want to hear it from you. So please, can we just pretend that you didn’t leave your entire life behind to race to my deathbed? Can we just pretend you’ve popped home for a visit to see your old mum and dad? Please?”
She grinned as she said it, but there was a slight edge to her voice that belied the joviality of her tone. But, for her sake – and perhaps mine – I played along.
“Well, it all started in April when I decked it in front of a pop star…”
Later
I was lying in bed just going over the events of the day in my mind when my phone pinged with a message.
Seeing the name on the screen, my eyebrows rose in surprise.
Seokmin
Why did you leave? Joonhyung won’t tell us
[Sent 23:24]
Me
What did he tell you?
Seokmin
He does not want to say anything.
[Sent 23:28]
Me
I had to leave, Ace. My mum is really sick. I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.
Seokmin
I am sorry Kaiya. I hope your eomma gets better and you come back to Korea.
[Sent 23:44]
Me
Me too
I felt the familiar burn in my eyes as I put my phone down. It hadn’t occurred to me what Jihoon might tell the others, and once again I felt awful for not thinking about how this affected him, because it did. Just in a different way.
