I open my mouth, ready to ask Loch what exactly he’s heard them saying, but Benny shakes his head. I suspect he’s already tried that.
‘I just hope it’s the one without magic,’ I say instead. ‘I know I’ll stand a chance then.’ I’m determined to build on the confidence my spar with Zelle gave me, even if it’s the conversation beforehand I still can’t stop focusing on.
‘Do you think it will be a group task again?’ Llinos joins in. ‘Most of the trials only have two group tasks, or three at the very most. And normally for at least one of them we’re in pairs.’
‘But that’s only because the numbers are so much lower by the end,’ Jonas interjects. He’s sitting on the end of my bed, which is sweet but also annoying. There are plenty of spare beds in here, and with him on mine, I can’t stretch out fully unless I put my legs on him. And I know exactlywhat response the others will have to that. ‘I’m sure as long as all of us stay alive, then we’ll all be able to keep helping each other through. And we know for certain that one of us is through to the third trial regardless of how this next one goes.’
He lifts his glass to Benny and tilts it towards him. Since he snapped at him for being in my room, Jonas has been making a concerted effort not to be a dick, but now he’s going too far in the other direction, and if he sucks up to Benny any more he’s going to get some seriously chapped lips.
‘Well, I’m going to head to bed early,’ I say. ‘That fight with Zelle wiped me out. Besides, I want to be up early again tomorrow.’
As I catch Llinos’s eye, simultaneous smirks rise on our faces.
‘Why? What happens tomorrow?’ Jonas questions, his brow furrowing. Unlike Benny and Llin, I’m not sure exactly how Jonas will respond to finding out about my plan for the Rowells. Which is why I haven’t told him.
‘Maybe something. Maybe nothing.’ I shrug. ‘Now budge. I need sleep.’
It’s another half hour before I’m actually in bed, though rather than sleeping, my head is unsettled. Benny and Jonas have gone off to hunt down a home brew one of the Galreckians – either Moryal or Del – has made, while Llin is silent in her bed and Loch mutters as he stares out of the window.
I’ve never actually made the infusion I put in the water today, and while I’m almost positive it won’t do any permanent damage, I can’t deny a twinge of fear.
Then there’s the conversation with Zelle. If he knows the truth about my family, then how many other people do? My instinct is to say none, to assume he’s the only person close enough for Kyor to share that secret with, but what do I really know of the prince? Nothing except what I’ve seen of him here. For all I know, he could have told everyone, maybe even bragged about it. Perhaps that was what he was laughing about with the kitchen staff when I found him there that day. My gut churns. Instinct tells me that’s not right, that Kyor’s not like that. He’s arrogant and confident, yes, but not a braggart.
Atoning,Zelle had said. That implies remorse, doesn’t it?
‘Rose, are you still awake?’ Llinos’s voice drifts from the other side of the room.
‘Yeah, just.’
I hear the creaking of her bed, and a moment passes before her weight settles on the mattress next to me.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ she continues to whisper, ‘about you and Kay. When all this is over.’
‘That feels like a long way away right now,’ I admit.
‘I know. I know it does. But I was thinking that when it’s over, if you don’t want to stay – and I’m not saying you won’t, I’m just saying if – then you could come back with us to the Eastern Isles. There’ll be a home for you in Brandish. With me. With Caroline.’
‘Caroline’s leaving the High Hold?’ I remember the argument I overheard where Llinos said Caroline was at risk. But what kind of risky situation can a scribe be in, other than paper cuts and being bored to death by old men like Rohan? I’m missing a piece of the puzzle, and it doesn’t feel good.
‘Yeah. You better believe that as soon as this is over, we’re going to be out of here.’ She reaches out, pulling me closer to her. ‘There are things you can do on the island. The ointments you make, the balms, the infusions. There are people who do that, like healers, but without magic. You could work there. I’d be able to find work for Kay, too. I know it. You’d be comfortable. I’d make sure of it.’ Her voice is passionate, and I find that I believe her utterly. My eyes are suddenly hot. For the first time, it feels like winning the Retterheld isn’t the only option for me. That maybe just staying alive will be enough to give Kay and me a whole new chance at life.
I try to imagine it, Kay and I leaving behind the mainland for a fresh start. I haven’t even been to the Eastern Isles; what if we don’t like it? And there’s also Jonas’s offer to consider.
‘I know we haven’t known each other that long,’ Llinos says fiercely, ‘but the Retterheld is a crucible of fire. It burns like shit, but it also forges damn good friendships. I honestly believe that I was meant to find you, Rose. And now I can’t imagine a life without you in it. But take your time. Think about it. You don’t have to answer me now.’
Her last words make me realise I’ve been silent too long.
‘Yes,’ I say, but it comes out in a half-sob. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’
For a moment we just lie there, holding each other, and then Llinos shifts. ‘We should get some sleep.’
As I try to sleep, my mind fills with thoughts of the future. An actual future where it would be about living, not just surviving. When I finally drift off, I dream of sitting on a cliff edge with Kay and watching the waves crash against the cliffs. It’s so vivid that I can almost taste the salty air and feel the breeze whip through my hair. As we sit there, holding hands andstaring at the blue, the howl of the wind grows louder and louder until it’s a clangour. A clangour that forces me to cover my ears before it finally shakes me from my sleep.
Not the wind, I realise with a sickening bolt of nausea. A bell. A Godsdamn trial bell.
‘What time is it?’ I yawn.
‘I don’t think it’s even midnight,’ Llinos replies. ‘Benny’s not in bed yet. Unless he’s bunking with Jonas. Here we go again,’ she says, sounding resigned.
