‘I’m still fucking furious,’ he growls. ‘You know I hate breaking the rules.’
Zelle grins back. ‘You needed a reminder of what you’re fighting for.’
Kyor scoffs as he turns back to Elska, who continues to lick his cheek. ‘As if I could forget,’ he says, his voice so soft and full of love that it punches into my gut. I’m intruding on an intensely personal moment I have no business watching, yet I can’t quite tear my eyes away. Seeing Kyor look so full of love makes my guts writhe with a feeling I refuse to name.
As I watch, momentarily forgetting that I’m nine feet up, my foot slides against the stones and my pulse rushes. I catch myself almost instantly, but Elska’s face swings towards me and my blood runs cold.
‘What is it, girl?’ Kyor’s voice is sharp and loud enough to hear even as I scramble down the side of the temple.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
My heart has lodged itself in my throat. If the dire wolf decides to come after me, I’m screwed, I think as I break into a sprint. She won’t risk being seen though, right? Kyor will stop her from tracking me down and following my scent, right? Probably? Ugh. I stop my mind from whirring and run. Dire wolves can mind-speak with their bonded, but can she send him images? Show him she sawme?If she even did see me. Maybe she didn’t.
Please, Etta, keep me safe from that wolf!
I don’t break my stride all the way back to the barracks, and when I arrive in the dining hall, my lungs throb from exertion and my pulse batters my rib cage. It’s only when I’m halfway up the staircase that my breathing gets almost back to normal.
I don’t know why, but I’ve already decided not to tell anyone what I saw. Not because I give a shit about Kyor potentially getting in trouble, but because of Zelle. I like him. And dammit, he’s been training me every day. If I tell anyone, Zelle might get moved somewhere else. I’m not keeping Kyor’s secret forthem, but for me. That’s all. Just some good old human self-interest. Nothing else to it.
I’m a few feet away from my dorm room when I hear raised voices, and the Kyor incident is washed from my mind in favour of listening to Benny’s rage-filled shouts.
‘You are putting us all at risk. Don’t you see that?’ His words are harsh and clipped.
Llinos’s voice is just as sharp as she replies, ‘Oh, you mean like you’ve put Caroline at risk for the four years she’s been placed here?’
‘I didn’t make that decision!’ he snaps. ‘I don’t know how many times I have to say it for you to believe me. I had nothing to do with it.’ There’s a moment of tense silence and then Benny’s sigh is so loud that it reverberates through the door. ‘Please, see my way of thinking. Our plan has gone to shit. We have to rethink our strategy.’
‘No. No, I don’t agree with that. I agreed to the original plan.’
‘But that won’t work anymore! Losing Suan screwed us. You know that. And I promise I’ve been trying to figure out a way we can do this without her. It’s all I’ve been trying to do. But with Jai and Coulter gone too, it’s impossible. You’re just not thinking straight because of Caz.’
‘So you’d rather I didn’t know she was here? Tell me, Benny, if you’d been the one to find her, not Rose, would you have even told me?’
‘Yes! Yes, of course I would have! Llin, I’m not a fucking monster.’
‘You’re sure as hell sounding like one,’ Llin snarls back.
‘I don’t need you to agree,’ Benny says coldly. ‘You seem to have forgotten who you’re talking to.’
My skin prickles while my chest tightens like my ribs are being bound.
‘Well, if you’re pulling rank, then why don’t I just get on my knees to you now?’ Llinos’s voice is full of sarcasm, and the tension radiating from the room is suffocating. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get caught here, but I don’t want to stand outside all night either.
Before I can decide whether to leave, Loch’s voice cuts through the silence. ‘Our flower is here,’ he says dreamily. ‘Rose is outside.’
My heart thuds. I either need to move now, making it look like I’ve just approached, or risk them finding me outside eavesdropping.
With a casual stride, I continue my walk and push open the door.
The three Rettlings are seated on their own beds, and Llinos and Benny smile at me in such synchronicity that it’s unnerving.
‘Hey, where have you been?’ Llinos asks. ‘Hardly seen you today. We were getting worried.’
Her voice is too high-pitched to be natural, and I wonder if she can hear it too.
‘Oh, just went for a wander,’ I say breezily. ‘How’s everything going here? Did you and Caroline have a good night?’
‘Yes, yes, all good. She just had a lot of work to catch up on, so she headed back early.’
