‘This stops now, guys,’ I say, looking at them both. ‘We can’t do this. The only reason we’ve got this far is because we’ve worked together. All of us. I don’t care that only one of us can win. We’re not going to end this thing by tearing each other apart. Not after everything we’ve been through.’ I turn to Jonas and lock my eyes with his. ‘It may have escaped your memory, but the only reason you’re still here is because Benny and I went back onto the ice to get you to the end of the third trial.’
‘Not to mention Rose saved our arses against that kraken. Otherwise, neither of us would be here,’ Benny interjects.
I shoot him a quick smile. While I’m grateful for his support, there’s still more I’ve got to say to Jonas.
‘Jonas, I know, or at least Ihope, that what you said to me yesterday was purely out of concern.’
‘It was?—’
‘I’m not done. As I said, I’m sure it came from a place of concern, and Iamgrateful that you worry about me. Truly. But like I’ve been saying since the beginning of the Retterheld, either I deserve to be here, deserve to earn the gifting, or I don’t. It wasmydecision to enter.Mydecisions that got me this far. If you don’t want to work together anymore, I understand, I really do, but if you do want our help, you don’t get to dictate to me anymore. That’s not how friendship works. And if you can’t honour that, then I guess I got it right yesterday, and there was never friendship here at all.’
He exhales. ‘I know we’ve worked together this far, but now it’s the Ofur, the final task, where only one person can be gifted. That’s the whole point of the competition. I’m not going to turn on you, Rose, I promisethat, but I think we should make an agreement now that this is where we stop actively helping each other. It’s the right thing to do.’
Benny looks at me. ‘Yep, donotaccept the proposal.’ He turns his attention back to Jonas. ‘Of the people who die in the Ofur, eighty percent of them are killed byother Rettlings, not by the trial itself. Youknowthat, right?’
Jonas grits his teeth. ‘Yes, I know that.’
‘So why the hell would younotwant to work together?’
‘Because I want the gifting!’ Jonas nearly shouts. ‘If we work together, then how do we decide who gets it? We can’t, and that’s the truth.’ His chair scrapes against the floor as he stands up. ‘I can’t keep going around in circles with this. You two do whatever you want to do. But I’m out.’
His footsteps echo across the dining hall as he marches outside and towards the battle yard.
‘You know, there was actually a time when I thought that guywashot,’ Benny mutters. ‘I really do have shit taste in men.’
‘You really do. I’m going back down to the kitchens,’ I say, standing. ‘Catch you later.’
With Jonas heading out to train, I decide to go back to Kyor’s room. It’s not that I don’t feel safe – with so few of us left, Roderick has no issue siphoning everyone’s powers at once, meaning Zara can’t strike me with her magic. No, the reason I don’t want to train is something else entirely. I don’t admit as much to Benny, but the magic I used in the fourth trial took more out of me than I expected, and I’m still worn around the edges. I could do with at least another hour of sleep.
Given how few of us there are to feed, I expect the kitchen to be empty. But instead, Leilah is still there.
‘Rose,’ she says. ‘Everything all right?’
She offers me a sad smile. It’s pretty much the only expression she’s offered me since telling me that the plans to get food out to the slums didn’t work. Of course I had to pick the ball when the rebels attacked to arrange my gift. She’s tried again since then, but apparently it’s been impossible to get permission for carriages to move between here and the slums. Clearly Korvane thinks the rebels all came from there.
‘Yes. Yes,’ I tell her. ‘Everything’s fine.’
‘Good. I kept a couple of extra pastries for you.’ She gestures to a plate by her side. It’s piled high, the same way she always did for Kyor.
‘Thank you, that’s very kind. But you shouldtake them. I had plenty.’
‘Oh, I think you’ll want at least one of these. Why don’t you take a look?’
Intrigued, I look more closely at the plate of pastries and see the envelope folded beneath the delicacies.
Leilah smiles at me. ‘I should get going. Won’t be long until the lunch shift starts.’
‘Thank you,’ I murmur. Picking up the plate, I head into Kyor’s room. Once I’m alone, I set the plate down and snatch up the envelope.
My name, written in Kyor’s strong hand, is enough to make my heart clench. His penmanship leaves a little to be desired – given his artistic talent, I expected whorls and flourishes – but even so, the way the letters loop reminds me of the way his hands curved around me when he slept. Yes, I’ve got it bad.
Thorn,
You’ve always had more strength in you than you realise. Don’t doubt it now. Do whatever it takes – fight, claw, endure – but above all, stay safe.
You’ve got this. I’ll be waiting when you win.
Yours always,
