Her breath hitches and she shakes her head. ‘I’m sorry. That was cruel of me.’
‘It was justified,’ I murmur.
‘No, it wasn’t. You loved her too.’
‘Not in the same way.’
‘No, but you still loved her.’ She glances up at the ceiling as she wipes away the tears, then looks at me as she inhales again. ‘So what do you need?’
I’m still torn. She wasn’t wrong when she said I only come here when I need something, and I’d hate for her to think that’s all I want this friendship for – for how she can help me. She and Benny are the last fragments of my best friend that I have. But without her help, I’m at a complete loss.
‘Okay, so the latest trial was getting around a kraken.’ I watch her closely. She doesn’t look surprised by this.
‘I heard. That’s crazy.’
‘Right. Well, I was just wondering if you have any books about them. About krakens. Or perhaps the people who could communicate with them. Whether that’s a traditional magic thing, or I don’t know … maybe something other people in other kingdoms can do?’ I try to sound as casual as possible.
Benny would be able to read the lie straight away, and even Llinos wouldn’t have been quick to believe me, but Caroline is wearing an expression I can’t read.
‘Well, turns out there is a book about it,’ she says. ‘But I only know that because someone else found it. Someone else who was looking for exactly the same thing you are.’
‘Somebody else?’
Chills run down my neck only to spread into a warmth of relief. Kyor, I think. Kyor must have got to it first. He said he’d help me in whatever way he could, and he is.
I clear my throat, trying to keep my pulse steady. ‘Who wanted it?’
She nods towards the back of the room, implying I need to turn around. My heart stutters at the thought of seeing Kyor again so soon, andsomewhere we can actually have something close to privacy without breaking any rules. Only as my eyes fall on the figure does the fluttering turn into a heavy weight that sinks to the pit of my stomach.
‘Me.’ Jonas steps out of the shadow, his focus narrowed on me. ‘I’m the one who wanted it.’
Chapter 68
Ifeel sick. Physically nauseous. Jonas is my friend. Wasn’t I trying to convince Kyor only this morning that we could trust him? Then again, that was before Jonas’s comment about working on our solo skills. He’s out for himself now, and I guess that includes doing whatever it takes to get rid of the competition.
‘Jonas.’ I try to keep my voice steady. ‘Whatever it is you think you know, it’s not what you think.’
‘Is that right? Well, I’ll tell you now, I’ve got a fair few suspicions,’ he says. ‘Suspicions I’m pretty sure I can find the answers to in here. Unless you want to save me the trouble?’
He steps forward. There’s a thick tome in his arms and a single vein is raised and pulsing across his forehead. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Caroline slink away. I assume it’s because she thinks we want privacy. Part of me wants to call out to her to stay. But maybe the fewer witnesses, the better.
‘Is this the power you used to kill Oke, too?’ he asks. ‘You didn’t take your dagger with you to the lake. You left it in the dining hall. Did you use magic to kill her?’ He lowers his voice. ‘Issen magic?’
I don’t answer – I can’t – and he takes my silence as agreement.
With a sharp inhale, he takes a step towards me. ‘Rose, whatever is going on with you, if anybody finds this out, you are dead. You know that.’
My eyes jerk up to meet his. ‘Of course I do! But I don’t know whatthisis. I need time to work it out.’
‘You don’t get time here. Remember? There are no second chances. You, of all people, should know that. Think of your mother. Your father.’
There’s a clattering from somewhere deeper in the library, and I drop my voice to a whispering hiss. ‘What would you have me do, then? Would you have me turn myself in for powers I don’t even understand?’
‘No, of course not.’ That vein is still protruding from his forehead, though it’s not pulsing quite so much anymore.
‘Then what, Jonas?’
He looks at me for a moment, his cheeks drawing inwards. He sets the book down. ‘Marry me,’ he says. ‘I’ll protect you and make sure people don’t find out. Marry me, Rose.’
