‘If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I’ve just never seen scars quite like them before.’
He draws in a long breath as he shifts slightly and lies down next to me.
A slow silence builds around us, but I don’t press it. No scars come without pain and sometimes the memories are almost too raw to confront. I feel he’ll tell me about their origin when he’s ready.
‘My father.’ His eyes are fixed on the ceiling as he speaks, his fingers combing lazily through my hair. ‘He considered it a strengthening exercise. He would ignite a fire on his palm and hold it against my skin. The more I screamed, the longer I had to endure it.’
‘Kyor!’ My hand flies to my mouth. ‘That’s torture. No parent should do that to their child. Hell, no human should do that to anyone. Ever.’
He shrugs as though I can’t see the pain radiating from the memory. ‘It was only for a few years. Once my powers came in, I told him it was only fair that I see how a king fared in a similar test. Suddenly he didn’t seem so keen to use that particular training method.’
Tears sting my eyes. All that wealth. All that luxury. All that darkness hidden beneath the gilding. For all the pain our father’s neglect caused Kay and me, not once did I fear he would physically hurt us. With my heart heavy, I press my hand against Kyor’s cheek and tilt his head to look at me.
‘I am so sorry you went through that,’ I whisper.
‘Others have gone through far worse.’
‘That doesn’t make it right.’
For a long while we lie there in silence, my head rising and falling to the rhythm of his breath, until finally his lips find mine again. The kisses are softer than before, with tenderness in every touch, and yet once again I find my body pressing closer and closer. Needing thatintimacy. And from the way his hands start grazing my body, I’m not the only one.
‘Again already, my love?’ he whispers.
A stream of static brushes my chest and my eyes roll to the back of my head as I anticipate what’s about to happen, but before I can draw his head down to me, a horn blares out somewhere in the distance. His head twists to the window and he peers out.
He grimaces. ‘That’s the ship back to the mainland. Which means we need to get moving.’
‘Can’t we just see if there’s another one coming in a couple of days?’ I groan, only for Kyor to let out a laugh that hits me right in the chest.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll pick this up later.’
With his hand on my forearms, he hoists me up to sitting as I let out an exaggerated sigh. ‘I just wish we could take this bed with us.’
‘Don’t worry. We won’t be sleeping in the barracks forever.’
I get that the comment is meant to make me feel happy, but instead, it causes a bolt of nervousness to churn in my belly. What is going to happen to us when this ends? Jonas assured me that Kay and I wouldn’t have to go back to the slums, and Morwenna has offered us a home here – and with Benny as the future duke of this place a future in the Eastern Isles is a promising one – but that option would take me away from all we’ve known, not to mention away from Kyor. And given that Jonas’s proposal was made when he still thought there was a chance for him and me, the offer could well be retracted now. I shake the thoughts away. That’s not a question I have the capacity to wonder about right now. In fact, I don’t have the capacity for much.
‘I’ll head straight to the library when we get back. See if I can find some books on whatever this is that’s happening to me,’ I tell Kyor as we head outside and towards the dock. ‘I’ve no idea where I’ll start though. Not with how big the place is.’
A new nervousness fills me. It would certainly help if Caroline was in the library to help with my research, but I still don’t know if she’s ready to face me.
The thought of Wrohelm also causes another pang of disappointment. With the post-trial ball having been held here in Brandish, there was no chance to see Kay, meaning the next time she and I will be together is when this thing is over. Hopefully that will give her time to realise there was nothing I could do when it came to Holden, that I honestly tried to let him go. His death was in his own hands.
‘You okay?’ Kyor asks, my silence clearly more conspicuous than I realised.
‘I was just thinking about Kay. I wish they’d let us see other people now and then. Do they really think that me seeing my baby sister will somehow jeopardise the trials?’
Kyor shrugs. ‘It sucks, but it’s another way to test your dedication to the gifting, I guess. But Acacia will know you’re okay. Every person in the High Hold who’s placed a bet against you has lost it, so your continued success will be all anyone is talking about.’
I can’t help but laugh. ‘You mean, they all thought I’d be dead by now?’ I ask, feigning shock.
He kisses the top of my head. ‘Yes and more fool them.’ He steps back so he can take my hands and look me in the eye. ‘I know it’s hard, but we’re in this together, right? At least we have each other. And lots of privacy in the barracks now, too.’
I grin. ‘That is a good thing,’ I say, pushing myself up onto my tiptoes to kiss him.
The ship is probably a hundred times bigger than the rowboat we came across on, and thankfully, there is no sign of a kraken in the water as we cast off.
Benny and Jonas are on the deck, staring out at the view.
