A ghost of a smile graces the older woman’s face as she takes my hand. ‘For what, Rose? You trained with her, fought with her, and you loved her. And she you. And most of all, you returned Caroline to her. To us. Her last days were happy and full of love. She chose to enter the Retterheld, and she knew the cost of doing so. You have nothing to apologise for.’
‘Llinos… she shouldn’t have … she wasn’t meant …’
She opens her arms and pulls me into her chest. ‘She loved you dearly. I know that much. She wrote, smuggled a letter all this way, asking if we’d be able to help you secure a home afterwards, for you and your sister.’
‘She did?’ I break away from the embrace to see only a warm smile gracing Morwenna’s face.
‘She did. The offer is not rescinded because Llinos is no longer with us. She loved you as a sister, and as such I will love you as my own. As she would have wished.’
Tears pour down my cheeks unchecked as her generosity breaks my heart anew.
The way she rocks me as she holds me, brushing her hand against the back of my head … it has been years since I’ve been held in such a manner. Held as a mother holds her own.
‘It was my drink,’ I say brokenly when I can finally manage words between the sobs.
‘I know. And you killed him for it,’ Morwenna says fiercely. ‘Thank you,’ she whispers, pressing a kiss to my temple. ‘Thank you for loving my daughter – for avenging my daughter – when we were not there to do that for her.’
Any words I hope for choke in my lungs as I push myself away, striking the tears from my cheeks in a smudge of blue. Rather than letting me go entirely, Morwenna steps back, allowing Kyor to take her place. To take my weight.
‘We’ll see each other again,’ Morwenna says firmly. ‘And if you don’t find yourself a place in Korvane’s court’—her eyes flick to Kyor—‘then I will help you find one here.’
‘I’m sorry, My Lord,’ Kyor says to Benny without a hint of mockery, ‘but I believe I should take Rose back to our room. It’s been a lot, and she was not long ago at death’s door.’
Benny nods. ‘Look after her,’ he tells Kyor solemnly. ‘She may have Wrohelm rings, but she’s one of us, too.’
Chapter 64
By the time we’re back in the room, I’ve finally gathered myself enough to stop crying.
‘I should go back,’ I tell Kyor as we reach the top of the stairs. ‘Apologise.’
‘You have nothing to apologise for. What you should do is get some more rest. I should have insisted you stay in bed, but I knew you’d want the opportunity to see Llinos’s family.’
It’s hard to deny I need sleep. My muscles feel unnaturally heavy, and my eyelids are the same. Yet as Kyor closes the door behind us, my eyes drift down his body and yearning fills me.
‘What?’ He turns back and looks at me with a half-smile quirking his lips. ‘What are you looking at?’
‘Nothing,’ I lie. Then I grin. ‘Well, okay, I was just thinking that the Dowager was right. You really do have a tight arse.’
An easy laugh rolls from his chest. ‘Really? You nearly died, and that’s what you’re thinking about?’
‘That’s always what I’m thinking about whenever I’m alone with you.’
He smiles, lifting my hands and kissing them.
‘You’re voracious. Though I have to admit, it’s the same for me, my love. But you could barely walk back across the ballroom, so such matters will have to wait.’
‘You could always be gentle with me,’ I suggest.
‘Is that what you want?’
I bite my lip. ‘No. Absolutely not.’
He grins. It’s a grin that reminds me of the time I saw him in the temple with Elska and Zelle. The first time I saw him without a mask. The Kyor I get now is the real him. Not the one he shows in public, or in fights, or every other moment of the day. And it causes my heart to throb.
‘We’ll wait,’ he tells me.
I want to disagree. To tell him I don’t need to wait. That waiting is pointless when we don’t know how long we’ve got left together. But as I go to say as much, a yawn escapes.
