Go home! You can go. Please, just go.
I’m trying to make sure it hears me, but I can feel my thoughts growing weaker, my mind blurring. This is when I meet Mortidem then.
I didn’t even get a chance to be one with Kyor. A ridiculous regret, but still, it’s there.
I’m dying alone aside from a sea monster and endless water. At least there’s no pain anymore. That’s something, right? At least there’s no pain.
I offer one final kick, knowing it won’t help. The edges of my vision are darkening, and I realise, with complete calmness, that whether I give up or not, Mortidem is coming for me.
In the deathly darkness of the water, as my eyelids flutter closed, a single flash of colour marks my passing. Blue. A blue so piercing it’s like it can see all the way into my very soul. Like itismy soul.
Then, a moment later, the world goes black.
Chapter 62
Everything feels wrong. Too soft. Too warm. If this is what death is like, it’s certainly not what I expected.
My body feels relaxed and weirdly floaty, yet the water is gone. And I can breathe. That’s nice. I take a few breaths, enjoying the way my chest lifts and falls. But still, it’s like my body isn’t quite right. And my hands? There’s something wrong with my hands. My knuckles feel as though they’ve been clamped. Not broken but squeezed so tightly that they might splinter. As I try to move them, the feeling intensifies.
‘Rose? Rose!’
I blink my eyes open. Kyor is there, staring at me, his blue eyes bloodshot. ‘Thank the Gods,’ he breathes as he drops his head down to my chest.
‘Kyor?’ My voice croaks.
His head jerks back up. ‘I’m here. I’m here, my love. What do you need?’
‘I think you’re crushing my hand.’
A light laugh escapes him as he instantly releases me and uses his now-free hand to wipe his cheek. Then he lowers his forehead so it rests against mine.
‘We had to give you some paparvy seed,’ he murmurs. ‘You were in so much pain from the cold.’
The cold? Was it cold in the water? Yes, it was, but just for a while. I remember that now.
‘Paparvy? Oh, that’s why I feel floaty.’
He smiles. ‘You’ll feel fine in half an hour or so. It’ll wear off soon.’
What’s the last thing I remember? I remember mentioning Llin. Telling Benny one of us had to make it. My chest tightens and panic cuts through the seed-induced fog.
‘The others. Did they make it? Benny and Jonas?’
Kyor nods. ‘Everyone who got into a boat made it across. Thanks to you. You made it, Rose. You’re in the Ofur. One of the final eight.’
The final eight. Those words fall on me with a weight I would never have expected. I should be happy that so many of my friends made it this far, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are those who didn’t. Turns out this wasn’t like the Retterheld where everyone made it to the Ofur. Like so many others, ours was messy and bloody and full of loss.
Still, he looks so damn proud of me that my heart melts a little. Wait, is it really melting? I rub my chest and he stills my hand, looking concerned.
‘Are you okay, Rose?’
‘I think my heart is melting,’ I explain.
His answering smile is like a sunrise, and I’m quite happy to bask in it.
He offers me water and watches me like a hawk as I sip it, visibly relaxing as the fog starts to leave me.
Suddenly, a frivolous thought strikes me. ‘The ball. Did I miss it?’
