He shrugs. ‘It was hardly a big deal. I just wrote her an invitation.’
‘Well, it meant a lot to Llin. And to me.’ Another pause takes hold and once again, I know there’s more I have to say. Finally, I coax the words out. ‘Thank you for not saying anything to them. To my friends. About … you know …’
‘I was never going to,’ he says just as quietly. ‘I promise you. No matter what changes between us, you have my word on that.’ He pauses and glances out across the ballroom. ‘Would you like to dance with me again, Miss Kultavaris?’
My body is desperate to respond yes, but it’s his use of my surname that slaps some sense into me.
‘Kyor, you’re the prince, the king’s heir. And I am from the family that was stripped of magic because they were blamed for your mother’s death.’
‘So that’s a no? You don’t want to dance?’ For the first time tonight, that twinkle has returned to his icy eyes.
‘What I want is irrelevant.’
‘Not to me it’s not.’
The urge to be close to him is unbearable. I tried to dismiss what is between us as nothing more than an attraction, but though I’ve been attracted to men before, it’s never felt like this. Like every cell in my body is screaming out to be touched by him. And from the hunger in his eyes, I’m not the only one who’s feeling it. Maybe if we got to finish what we started, it might offer a respite from this insanity. Maybe just one night would be enough to get it out of our systems.
The thought has barely formed when the moment is severed by Holden appearing beside us. ‘I hope you’re not neglecting your other guests in favour of the Rettlings, Prince Kyor. Or rather, one particular Rettling.’
I stiffen at his presence, feeling my hands clenching at my side.
‘Your father was asking me where you were,’ Holden continues. ‘As you well know, there’s a certain etiquette when it comes to these situations.’
‘You’ve come here and interrupted your prince in a private conversation to lecturemeon etiquette?’ Kyor’s gaze is so withering I’m surprised there aren’t sparks flying from it.
To give Holden his due, he only shrinks back a fraction.
‘Kyor,’ I say, placing a hand on his chest. I’m not sure why, other than it feels like the right thing to do. I feel the disapproval flare from Holden but ignore it. ‘Go, do your part. Perhaps the commander was hoping I might give him some fighting tips after the results of this morning’s spar.’
‘I will find you again soon,’ Kyor promises. ‘Weneed to talk.’ The slightest ghost of a smile rises on his lips before he turns and walks away, leaving me alone with Holden.
Chapter 54
It doesn’t matter that Kyor’s still in the same ballroom as me; I feel his absence like a cold draught. How is it possible that I have such a need for this man?
I’m also painfully aware of Holden lingering beside me like an insidious black rot.
‘Well, Miss Kultavaris,’ he drawls, ‘you’ve managed to prove a few of us wrong in doubting your abilities.’
‘Really?’ I arch a brow. ‘There were doubters? I must’ve missed the part where their opinions mattered.’
Holden is the epitome of everything I hate about courtly life, with his feints and stabs dressed up as conversation.
His lips curl, not into a smile, but a sneer sharpened by old jealousy.
‘The trials only get harder, you know. Just because you’ve made it this far, it doesn’t mean you’ll make it to the end. And even if you do, Etta only chooses one for the gifting.’
‘Oh, thank you for the lecture,’ I purr. ‘I never would’ve guessed the trials weremeantto be difficult. Next you’ll be telling me fire is hot.’
Am I being reckless? Possibly. But I don’t care. Not even Holden would be stupid enough to try something at a ball. His gaze shifts across the room as he stands uncomfortably close, and I know exactly who he’s looking at before he even starts to speak.
‘You should know that the prince will tire of you soon enough. It is what he does. You are a new challenge. A big one, admittedly, with all thatunfortunate shared history.’ He twists back to me, his sneer back in place. ‘It must run in your family – coveting things you shouldn’t. Though I can assure you that while your father may have undeservedly gained his title, you will not get the prince. No, in the end he will marry for strategy. For power. For allegiances. He will never marry, or even love, someone as powerless as you. You are a notch in his bedpost, nothing more. Enjoy it while you can, because when he discards you – as he inevitably will – you will resume your place in the slums with nothing more than your memories to keep you warm.’
I don’t want his words to cut. I don’t want to feel the sting of them beneath my ribs. But I do. Because they are true. It’s not love, whatever this is between Kyor and me. I’m not stupid enough to contemplate that word. But itissomething. Something undefinable and raw and everything I need right now.
‘So lovely to hear you think I’ll survive the Ofur.’ I smile before letting the expression drop, one of utter boredom sweeping over my face. ‘What is it you want, Holden? Or are you just here to tell me things I already know?’
His smile flashes broad and almost casual. ‘Oh, no. I’ve said all I wanted to say. Except, perhaps, congratulations on your continued survival, against all odds.’ He nods to a waiter carrying a tray of wine glasses and the servant immediately scuttles over. Holden takes two glasses and hands one to me. ‘To the fourth trial.’ He clinks his glass against mine. ‘May you forever hold Etta’s favour, or may you meet Mortidem in eternal darkness, reuniting with all those who await you there.’
