‘You can’t. She’ll kill you. This is their fate, not yours.’
‘They can’t die like this. This isn’t fair. This isn’t a fight. It’s torture.’
‘Thorn, don’t do this.’
He grabs my arm, but somehow I slip from his grasp.
I don’t have a choice. Etta’s the Goddess of Life, and right now, I won’tlet any life be taken like this. Better to be defeated by a giant or a dire wolf than by a friend whose mind is gone. Besides, Kyor didn’t need to save me, and yet he did. He did the right thing, and so will I.
‘Oke, no! No!’ I cry.
The voices are creeping back into my head, but I fight against them. I can only fight one battle at a time, and right now, they’re not mine. Saving Oke is. ‘Oke! You can’t save him. You can’t save him. You’ll get yourself killed. Please!’
She offers me only the briefest glance before turning back to Mattieu, just in time to watch him plunge a knife into his own stomach.
Chapter 48
For a split second, I pray that this is going to be like when the Issen’s sword went through Kyor. That it isn’t a real knife in Mattieu’s hand, but an illusion. But as the blood sprays and he falls to his knees while the spectres continue their fight around him, I know I’m not going to be that lucky twice.
‘No! Mattieu, no!’ Oke rushes towards him and her knees land so hard on the ice that cracks form in the glass-like floor. ‘It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.’
As she presses her hands to his stomach, a soft red glow fizzes from her fingers and the smell of burning meat fills the air.
Oke is a healer? The thought comes with a torrent of relief, though it doesn’t last. That smell … No healing I’ve ever known has made an aroma like that. She’s not healing him, I realise; she’s just trying to stop the bleeding by cauterising the wound.
But Mattieu plunged his dagger all the way to the hilt. Can cauterisation fix something like that? It only takes me a minute to know the answer. From the blood pooling at Mattieu’s mouth and running onto Oke’s furs, I’d say not. Though as I watch on, I realise Mattieu is the least of her worries. There’s something about the way she’s shaking her head and moving her lips. It’s as though she’s talking to a dozen people at once. Or fighting off voices in her mind. The spectres are closing in around her, and if she’s not careful, she’s going to be next. I have to get to her.
Rain has started falling. Freezing rain so cold it seeps all the way to mybones. I need to keep moving. Water-soaked furs are even heavier, meaning it’s going to be harder to walk across the ice. Not to mention more perilous.
‘Oke, you need to leave him. We need to go.’ I wade through the mirages of battling Issen and Morathkians and grab her by the arm. ‘You have to go now. You have to save yourself, or you’re both going to die.’
Her eyes widen as she looks at me, the rain streaming down her face; the whites bulge from their sockets, and her pupils swallow her irises with their all-consuming darkness.
Is this what I looked like when Kyor knocked the blade from my hand? What Mattieu looked like before he ran the knife through his own stomach? I have a horrible feeling it is. I need to snap her out of this before she kills herself.
‘You … you wanted this. You wanted him dead. They’re right. You are our enemy. You need to die.’
Fuck.
Not only does she want me dead, but apparently the spirits do too. Great.
‘Oke, snap out of it! Please, I’m trying to help you!’ I yell. ‘I’m trying to save you!’
She grips a dagger, the point aimed at me. So words aren’t going to be enough to stop this from happening. Good to know.
The rainwater on the ice has made it even more slippery, yet somehow I swing my leg up and kick the weapon out of her hand before she gets a chance to strike. My aim is spot on, and it clatters to the ground, but as my foot lands, I feel the crack of the ice beneath me.
Not having a weapon doesn’t deter her. In one lunge, Oke has wrapped her strong hands around my throat. My breath falters and my body instinctively thrashes about, weakening the already fragile ice beneath us. If I don’t think of something soon, I’m going to die out here. Either by Oke’s hand or in the icy water, and neither is an option I want to take.
‘You defile the land, defile the one true God. The Mother God.’
Fuck. The voices are back in my head. But I can’t let them win. I won’t die. Not here. Not when I’m trying to help someone survive in a trial for the fucking Goddess of Life. That’s not how these things are meant to work.Please, I beg whatever God is listening.Please, I just need something. Anything.
I kick out at Oke, and she slams me down on the ground. This time, the crack in the ice is audible. Loud enough to resonate through my skull.Loud enough to block out the voices trying to lay their claims there.Please, Gods, help me!
The apparitions are drawing closer, circling Oke and me as if they want to be there at the moment of our deaths. And it’s coming soon. I can feel it. The air. It’s so cold. So thin.
Oke’s hands are still at my throat, squeezing, while I lie flat on my back, praying the spread of my weight will keep the ice from giving way beneath us. Still, I have no choice but to thrash out again and land a kick to her stomach that causes her to loosen her grip. As I scramble up to my knees, fighting dizziness and gasping for breath, Oke towers over me. And she’s not alone. One of the apparitions dressed in Issen garb stands resolutely beside her, looking at me.
