If he keeps saying things like that, I might have to forgive him for all the tangles he’s making.
It’s early, even for the kitchen staff, but one person is already working downstairs, though she stops the moment she sees us.
‘Oh, Ky,’ Leilah gasps. ‘It’s all right, my boy. It’s all right.’
Without so much as a glance at me, she pulls him into her arms. His weight sags into her and his shoulders shudder as he allows his tears to tumble free.
For all his power, all his posturing, the sound that escapes him is nothing more than a broken sob.
He isn’t untouchable, isn’t carved from stone. He’s just a man, fragile and aching, stumbling through grief like the rest of us.
Feeling like I’m intruding, I silently slip away, scrubbing away tears that I didn’t even realise were falling.
From the hangingheads at breakfast, I think it’s fair to assume that Kyor isn’t the only one nursing a serious hangover, though whether the other Rettlings were drinking to celebrate their survival or to forget the traumas they’ve had to endure so far is anyone’s guess.
Later that day, the battle yard is close to empty as Llinos and I spar together. As great a job as the healers have done on her injury, she struggles to even block using that arm, and for the first time ever I have to hold back to give her a chance. Some of it might come from me getting stronger, of course, but it’s definitely not that alone.
‘Three more trials,’ Llinos says, swinging her sword at me.
‘Technically two andthen the Ofur,’ I reply.
‘I’m trying to think of it as just another trial. I mean, I can’t imagine it’s going to be worse than the others.’
‘Can’t imagine or don’t want to?’ I sass.
‘Oh, definitely don’t want to.’ She grins at me.
She swings at me again and this time gets a decent strike across my ribs. I’ve been distracted more than I’d like during our fight as my eyes keep falling on the tallies etched into the wall. I’m too far away to take them in clearly, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t forget they’re there. That I can’t seem to tear my mind away from the prince, no matter how hard I try.
‘How long before the next trial, do you think?’ I restart the conversation in the hope that it’ll stop me thinking about Kyor. ‘Surely they’ll want to give us all time to heal fully before they hit us with the next one.’
‘Who knows? I’m hoping for as long as possible though, because the healers said they’ve done as much as they can for my arm and now it just needs time. And if I have to fight like this …’ She presses her lips together, unable to finish. Not that she needs to.
‘There might not even be any fighting in the next one.’ I’m clutching at straws, trying to find something to comfort her. ‘We’re also meant to use our heads for the trials, right? Maybe it’ll be something logical. You’re great at strategic thinking.’
‘Maybe,’ she replies, though she doesn’t look convinced. If anything, her nervousness seems to grow. ‘There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. I feel really, really shit about it, and it might not even happen, but I think we need to be prepared for it. But I don’t want you to be pissed, because it’s not an insult, it’s just …’
I stop swinging and look at her.
‘You want to spit it out?’
She takes a deep breath in. ‘There’s almost always a trial near the end when they make us act in pairs. And we decided before we came in that Iwould be with Loch and Benny would work with Jai, but now … well …’
Once again, there’s no need for her to finish the sentence. She’ll work with Benny. Of course she will.
‘It’s fine. Really,’ I tell her. And itis,but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to myself that there’s the tiniest sting of disappointment.
‘I just feel crap,’ she says. ‘And I want to be clear that it’s not because you don’t have powers or anything. It’s really not that.’
‘I get it. I promise.’ I do, but it doesn’t stop the heavy weight that drops in my stomach. Or the reminder that even though I’ve got this far, I’m stilllessthan the rest of them.
‘If it comes to pairs, I’m sure I can go with Jonas. He’ll love the chance to tell me to stay back.’
She lets out a nervous laugh. ‘Yeah, true.’
‘Really, Llin. It’s fine.’
‘Thank you.’ This time her smile is more genuine as she whips up a spiral of sand with her hand. ‘It’s weird being able to use magic in here. Feels wrong.’
