‘I’m sure you’ve got that pretty dagger of yours on you. Do it. I won’t fight back. End this. Etta won’t blame you.’
I sigh and scrub at my eyes. Now, in this moment, I can be honest with myself. Stabbing Kyor Knavin is the furthest thing from my mind.
‘No,’ I say.
Rather than looking pleased, he reaches out and unsheathes my dagger.
‘Do it!’ he yells, pressing it into my hand, trying to prise my fingers open and make me take it. ‘You want me dead. Fuckingownit, Thorn.’
‘I’m not going to kill you, Kyor.’ I don’t even reach for the blade, keeping my fist closed tight.
‘Why not? It’s what you want. It’s what we both want! We want each other dead.’
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘We don’t. Not anymore.’
‘You’re fucking lying,’ he snaps at me. He’s inches from my face, his eyes glaring in a way that should have me cowering. But it doesn’t.
I hold his gaze. ‘Zelle thought you were redeemable.’ I take a deep breath. ‘And so do I. You were a child, Kyor. You were a child, and you lashed out because you were in pain. So much pain. I know that type of pain, Kyor. Just as I know the pain you’re in now. Because you loved Zelle. And he loved you, too.’
I reach out my hand and place it against his chest. Sleet streams down my face, into my eyes, and through my hair, but I don’t move to brush it away. Instead, I stay as I am, rooted, clinging to this single point of contact. Because in this moment, all I want is to be tethered to him. To make him feel my presence. To remind him, remind both of us, that no one deserves to feel so utterly alone in the world.
His eyes narrow as they glance down at my hand, as if he doesn’t understand what it’s doing there. As if he doesn’t understand the simplicity of touch.
‘Why are you here, Thorn?’ he asks, his voice plaintive and lost.
Rain is pouring over us now.
‘I’m here because you need someone.’
‘Yesterday you poisoned me, and today you’re … what? Trying to save me?’
‘You don’t need saving. This wasn’t your fault. And I didn’t poison you, not on purpose, and you know it.’
As his eyes linger on mine, they shift, filling with something I can’t read. It’s hot, strong, and hypnotic. And it’s muddling my mind.
With a yank of my hand, I pull myself away from him.
‘We need to get back to the b-ball,’ I stammer, suddenly needing to leave. Because if I stay, things will get … complicated. ‘I need to see my sister.’
He shakes his head, but his eyes soften. ‘I’m not going back in there. You should, though. Speak to your sister. You don’t know when you’ll get the chance again.’ He winces and bites down on his lip. ‘Fuck. I wasn’t saying that because I think you’re going to die. I just meant … hell, I don’t even know what I meant.’ He licks his lips and shakes his head ruefully.
‘You know, you look damned good dripping wet, with that obscene dress plastered to you. I’ve wanted to rip it off you all night.’ He takes in a shuddering breath, visibly trying to get a hold of himself. ‘You need to go, Thorn, before I won’t let you.’
I swallow audibly and, wishing I could control the drumming in my chest, turn my back on him and walk away.
Chapter 43
Llinos is waiting at the doorway and she rushes towards me when she sees me.
‘Rose, thank the Gods. Where have you been? Kay said you ran out after Kyor?’
‘Not exactly …’ I’m not sure why I’m lying to her, but I can’t bring myself to share what’s happened even with her.
‘And why the hell are you so wet?’ she adds, plucking at my sodden gown.
This question, at least, I can answer. ‘It was raining.’
‘Not here, it wasn’t.’
