Maybe Etta simply chooses some people as sacrifices – although if that is true, I pray that’s not the reason she chose me.
Behind the temple is a long wall that bisects almost the entire third ring. Beyond are the living quarters of the handful of Etta’s priestesses who reside within Wrohelm. A frisson of nerves ripples through me as I make my way over to the ivy-covered wall. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the priestesses’ quarters, and I worry that she won’t see me.
Unlike the grass, there is not a hint of frost on the deep green ivy leaves, and the moment my fingers brush against them, it is clear why. Magic fizzes through my palm, biting not only my skin but also the tears behind my eyes. There is something about this magic that calls to the surface the pain of everything that was taken from me, but without any magic of my own to rise to the harsh summoning, all I feel is hollow. That’s what hurts the most about being stripped: knowing you will never be complete. Knowing however much you try, however good you are, there will always be holes within you. Kay and I deserve better.
‘Priestess Dinah Poltick,’ I murmur to the ivy, and my stomach clenches as I pray she will answer my request.
The heat on my palm remains for a moment longer before it disappears into nothing.
All I can do now is wait and hope that Dinah is even present in the temple. If she’s not, then I’m going to have to come up with another plan, and quickly. But rather than focusing on what my next actions should be, I can’t help but think of the Retterheld.
Like the people in the slums, I assumed the king would have forbidden his only heir to enter, but I find I am absurdly glad that he didn’t. The Retterheld has already given me one gift: the chance at revenge. And maybe the fact that the Goddess deems me worthy is a sign that the royals should too.
Of course, I’m not oblivious to the whispers that flitted around the market when his name was called. About his skills as a fighter. About the fact that people think he will win. But Etta knows the truth of what happened between us. She knows what he did to us. If the Goddess accepts anyone into the tournament purely as a sacrifice, it should be him.
‘Rose.’ Just the sound of my name spoken in Dinah’s soft tone is enough to stir memories.
I turn to find her framed by ivy, and her smile holds me immobile for a breath. It is so joyous, so full of love, that some cold part of me thaws just a little. Her eyes, though, have shadows of hurt and regret.
It pains her to see me. I knew it would. But I had no other choice.
Dinah steps forward wordlessly, cups my cheek, and then whispers in my ear, ‘My darling Rose. You’re the very image of your mother.’
Chapter 6
Dinah looks as unchanged as ever. The pearlescent hooded blue cape she wears is the same shimmering shade as the opalescent stone embedded in her forehead, just above her brow line. The stonebinding is the last stage of becoming a priestess, and the power that resonates through the gem comes from their chosen God, giving them magic that is said to be far greater than anything the rest of us possess.
‘Rose, my dear child,’ Dinah murmurs. Tears fill her eyes as she runs her hand over my white-blonde hair then grasps me by the shoulders as if she’s trying to assess how much weight I’ve lost since I last saw her. That’s the main reason I’ve kept my distance. It’s hard to pretend you’re doing okay when every time you meet it looks like more muscle has melted from your frame.
‘Tell me it’s a mistake,’ she says when she finally lets me go. ‘Please, Rose. Tell me you didn’t enter.’
‘I did, and the Goddess accepted me.’ I smile a little in pride, but Dinah closes her eyes and mutters to herself.
‘She did,’ she says eventually, opening her eyes and looking at me, her mouth tight. ‘And the Goddess always has her reasons.’
I force my smile to remain in place. I hate that line. Really fucking hate it.
The Goddess had her reasons.That was what Dinah saidafter my family’s magic was stripped. She said the words with conviction, but as my mother struggled and grew sicker, and my father began to drink himselftowards a premature reunion with my brother, that conviction was tested. Every visit, the darkness in her eyes and the worry that clouded her became more acute. She loved our mother and had raised her in the temple as a daughter. And so I witnessed the way it became harder and harder for her to say to us thatthe Goddess had her reasons. Dinah gave her life to the service of Etta, and it was as though our diminishment was making her doubt that choice.
‘I’ll be fine, Dinah.’ My eyes are unblinking as I speak so that she can see how firmly I believe the words I’m saying. ‘I promise. I may not have magic, but I have skills.’
And it’s true. I’m not completely helpless. There may not be much room for axe swinging and practising with full-length swords in the slums, but daggers are a different matter. I started training with knives as a way to vent my frustration over my mother’s death as much as anything else. I took the thin blades we used to skin rabbits – back when we could still afford to buy meat – and began hurling them at targets. Short distances at first, just across the room into the wooden beams that held up our roof, then stretching the length between me and my target further and further.
‘Dinah, it’s not me I’m worried about,’ I say, steering the conversation towards the first of the two reasons I’ve come. ‘It’s Acacia.’
Dinah’s expression remains pinched with concern, but she doesn’t speak.
‘I need her out of the slums,’ I say. ‘At least while I’m in the tournament. I need to know she is safe, or I won’t be able to focus. Besides, you know they only get the information second-hand out there. She’ll be a wreck if she doesn’t even know if I’m alive.’ Assuming I am still alive. ‘I need you to reach out to Lord Artur Lorathin.’
‘Artur?’ Her expression tightens further. ‘His son’s also been chosen, has he not?’
‘He has. Meaning he will understand the fear that Kay faces. He’s a good man. I’m sure he will see to it that she’s taken into one of the inner rings where she can watch my progress more closely. Will you do that for me?’
Dinah does not immediately reply and I can almost hear her mind whirring.
‘I will speak to him,’ she says shortly, eyes still dark with worry. ‘Rose, the others… they will have powers, all of them. And they know how to fight. Every day they train to kill.’
I stifle a snort. ‘No one fights harder than someone who lives in the slums and knows what life is like outside of it,’ I tell her. ‘Believe me. And one day I will have powers too. Once I win and have what was taken from us returned.’ I let out a reluctant sigh as her eyes pinch in familiar pity. ‘I’m not being naïve, Dinah. I know what I’m going up against. I know how hard they fight, and I know this will be ugly, but I also know that none of them need to win the gifting the way I do. Besides, powers are not allowed in all the trials.’
