He starts to move down the bed, and my hand shoots out, grabbing his arm as I exclaim, “Wait!” He tilts his head in question, and I lick my lips, feeling a little nervous. “Will you… Will you make love to me, Jagger?”
A flash of what looks like pain crosses his face before his usual serious expression is back in place. I feel a frown tug at my brow as I slowly let go of his arm. “Do you… not want to?”
He presses his lips together and watches me for a moment, as if considering what to say.“I do, tiny flame. Nothing would make me happier than to make love to you. But…”He looks off to the side as he debates how to continue, and the heat I had been feeling starts to grow cold.
He’s thinking of an excuse to say no. Why?
He looks back at me and signs the next part slowly, as if he’s weighing every word carefully.“I love you. But I don’t deserve to be your first.”
“How can you say that?” I ask, my heart aching that he feels that way. “Is this about your past? Jagger, you know I don’t care about that.”
“Just give me a little more time. Please?”
I’m not sure what he needs more time for, but I nod anyway. I’d give him anything he wants.
He runs a finger up my inner thigh before signing,“Why don’t I finish what I started?”
I swallow the lump in my throat as I feel the worry in my stomach. “Can we just cuddle instead?” I ask nervously. He nods as he readjusts my panties and skirt before lying down beside me and pulling me into his side. I can feel his unease, but I’m unsure if it’s from his reaction or mine.
I just can’t help but feel a sting of rejection. I’ve been trying to lose my virginity to these guys for what feels likeforever, and if it weren’t for the debate they had about who should go first, I’d think they weren’t interested.
All four of them were locked up for almost a year; you think they’d be a little more eager, especially with the connection we shared. It’s not exactly great for my ego to have them constantly telling me to wait. I didn’t want to wait any longer.
Mostly, it’s because I love them, and I want to be closer to them, but there’s something else worrying me. It’s clear Robert had purposely made sure I stayed a virgin so he could sell me to Ivan. But what would the two of them do if I were no longer a virgin? They’d lose interest in me, right?
Ivan wouldn’t want me anymore, and he would finally back off and leave me alone. That just made me more desperate to do it now, before he got his hands on me again. I told him his men had raped me, but considering I ran, I’m not sure if he believes that anymore.
Was there a way he could check?
My fingers dig into Jagger’s shirt as I whisper my fear out loud. “Is there a way someone could check if a woman is a virgin?”
His hand that was rubbing up and down my side stills, then he pulls back so he can look down at me, his brows pinched in concern.
“Why are you asking that?”
Lowering my eyes, I stare at my hand against his chest as I shrug. “I was just thinking, maybe Ivan would lose interest in me if he knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore.”
Jagger squeezes me tight against him, the side of his head pressed to the top of mine as he slightly rocks me back and forth. We stay like that for a few minutes before he pullshis cell out of his pocket and starts typing one-handed so he doesn’t have to let go of me.
I believe he’s obsessed with you, virgin or not.
My stomach drops when I read those words.
Try not to worry, I’ll protect you. We all will. You have five men willing to do anything to keep you safe.
“But I don’t want any of you to get hurt, either.”
We’re working on it. First, we’ll take out Robert, then Ivan.
I nod against his chest as I add, “Then we move to Canada, where nobody will know us.”
He nods, hugging me tight against him.
We stay like that for a while, my mind drifting all over the place, but I keep trying to focus on the future, on a life free from people trying to capture us. I know they had talked about being hitmen, but I wasn’t sure if they really meant it.
“What would you want to do?” I ask him. He gives me a puzzled look, and I huff out a laugh. “Right, you’re not in my head. I was just wondering, when this is all over, what would you want to do? Do you want to be a hired hitman?”
He lifts his phone to type his response.
