“I grew up surrounded by love, Guillermo. I couldn’t have chosen a better mother even if I wanted to,” she says, unaware of how guilty I feel at this moment. “But I also spent a lot of my life, especially in this last year when I felt so alone, wondering whether the woman who left me at the orphanage couldn’t have changed her mind over time and might now be willing to meet me.”
“So you looked for her?”
“There was no way. Whoever abandoned me there left no clues.”
“But would you be willing to live with your biological mother if you could?”
“Maybe. I don’t know about living together, but I’d like to meet her. Understand the reasons she had for leaving me.”
I go to where she is and pick her up, bringing her to the couch and laying her on top of my body.
This is what Olívia does to me. I want to protect her from any suffering, even though I know that in the near future, it will be inevitable.
I had planned to keep my distance while we talked, but the truth is that staying away from her is torture.
“What about siblings?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you think there might be more siblings out there?”
“I don’t know. Funny that I always thought only about my biological mother. Not about who my father might be or whether I have siblings. One day I intend to research that more thoroughly, but it’s not essential, you know? I’ve lived without those blood relatives just fine so far. To tell the truth, I’m afraid to meet them and be disappointed.”
I’m sure she will be disappointed.
She raises her head, resting her chin on her hands. “Do you intend to look for Nina’s only living relative?”
I feel my jaw clench, and I just nod in agreement.
“You’re a good man, Guillermo. Another in your place would keep his distance from any ties with his ex’s family, from what you’ve told me about her so far.”
“Nina deserves to know her.” I pull her into a kiss with the feeling that there’s a countdown to the end of our time together. “If you could find out about your past right now, would you want to?”
“At this very moment, I think not. I’m afraid it might throw me off-balance. For the first time in years, I feel like I’m heading somewhere, and I’m afraid bringing my history to light might hurt me.”
It will definitely hurt.
I have no doubt she’ll be hurt.
“I could help you,” I cautiously suggest.
“Would you do that?”
“Yes, Olívia. I’ll never stop helping you, no matter what happens between us.”
Her face falls, but she keeps smiling, although the joy doesn’t reach her eyes. “Okay. I accept the help. But not now. I prefer to wait a few months before pursuing this. I just want to live for now. I haven’t known about them all this time; I can wait a little longer.”
I don’t know what to say. Our conversation didn’t take the turn I imagined, but the fear that everything between us will come to an end makes me retreat. “The moment you want to know, you’ll let me know?”
“Yes, but right now, I just want to live like a normal girl.”
“With me.”
“What?”
“Live like a normal girl with me,” I demand, even though I know I don’t have that right.
“Okay. For as long as we last.”
