I quickly end the call, trying to bring my logical side back to the surface.
I’ve never been so out of control with my desires. Even when I got involved with Layla, I knew from the start that I didn’t want anything more serious, so we started the relationship with an expiration date.
Olívia, however, attracts me in a way no one else ever has, making me forget what I should and, especially, what I shouldn’t do.
I look at the clock for the third time, trying to understand why I feel so restless. Everything is under control. Nina is staying with the temporary nanny at my mother’s house. She slept much better last night, and we really enjoyed ourselves yesterday.
She started crawling last week. At first, she was insecure, since when she tried, she fell on her belly. When that happened, she seemed upset, but my girl is persistent and a few days of practice was all it took for her to never stop. Now, I have to keep an eye on the stairs because she wants to explore every corner of the apartment.
She’s also very argumentative in her unique baby language, and every day I find myself fascinated by how she learns every little thing about the world. Her curiosity is endless.
When I pick up my daughter, her small and fragile body makes me want to protect her from all evil. Shield her from any danger.
Her photo on my desk reminds me that I need to take more. She grows so fast. Her face seems to change at an incredible speed, and I can’t keep up with all the phases, torn between her and my day-to-day obligations. I blame myself for not keeping up with the little changes. I have the new photos on my phone, but I need to print them and put them in frames.
I also would like to take her to do some activities, like learning to swim and music lessons, but Joaquín thinks I shouldn’t allow a stranger to transport her from one place to another. I think my brother will never lose his characteristic distrustful nature.
Every time I watch videos about baby development, I feel like I’m failing in some way. Falling short, unable to fulfill all the necessary criteria. I don’t want her to miss anything, and this makes me think about the girl I’m about to meet again.
I check the time. It’s almost time. Is she punctual? Should I go meet her?
No, better not. Although I don’t care what others think, Olívia doesn’t need rumors to start about her.
My secretary, Kathleen, who has been with me almost as long as I’ve been CEO, showed disbelief when I told her I had hired Olívia personally.
She’s competent and a great employee, but sometimes I think of transferring her to one of the directors. It’s not something she has said, but occasionally I feel like she thinks that, because we’ve been working together for so long, she hasthe right to make certain decisions that are a bit beyond her duties.
At first, I thought it was just my imagination, but since Layla died, she has been more explicit about her intentions, forcing a closer relationship as if we were friends, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Not because she’s my employee but because I can see other interests behind her actions.
She has even hinted that she could do tasks that are not her job, like taking care of Nina, for example, when I have evening meetings.
It won’t happen.
Kathleen has never been to my house, and I intend to keep it that way.
I’ve been taking most of her actions calmly, considering the good years of service she has provided so far, but yesterday she particularly annoyed me by questioning why I needed an assistant. I don’t need to justify to anyone whom I hire or don’t hire.
I was annoyed enough to call Melissa directly to task her with guiding Olívia. I don’t want the girl to feel embarrassed in any way. I took her out of her world—although her world, in my view, didn’t provide any security—and now I’ll make sure she’s okay.
My thoughts are pretty good up to here, right? Coherent, rational, straight. But rational isn’t really how I feel; I feel damn anxious. Unable to wait any longer, I go to the reception. It’s past the time she should have arrived.
Maybe I should send her a text?
I open the door, and to my surprise, Olívia is sitting there, looking very focused on her own nails, while Kathleen ignores her, focused on her laptop screen.
Instead of addressing my secretary—who will have to explain to me why I wasn’t informed of Olívia’s arrival—I postpone the problem, and without even looking at Kathleen, I call Olívia. “Come.”
She raises her head and, to my satisfaction, doesn’t hesitate. From my peripheral vision, I can see Kathleen turning towards me.
I’ll deal with her later. Right now, my interest is solely in Olívia.
As she passes to enter the room, she doesn’t look at me.
“Suspend all calls,” I say to the woman who irritates me more every day.
“You have a meeting in an hour.”
“I’m aware of my commitments. Suspend all calls until I say otherwise.”
