“I was asked to help her when she first joined the company. I had been there for a few years at that point, and we were in the same job.”
“How did it feel when you saw her for the first time, if you remember?” Larissa asked.
“It wasn’t love at first sight for me, if that’s what you’re asking. Sorry, babe,” Kit said to Matilda. “I was in a relationship at the time, and I was faithful, so I wasn’t thinking about anyone that way.”
“For me, it was different,” Matilda shared. “I was single and newly out, so when I saw her for the first time, I remember thinking that she was hot and that I was glad that she’d been assigned to work with me. Then, a few days later, her girlfriend showed up to take her to lunch, and I had to squash those feelings.”
“That’s interesting. I hadn’t thought about that,” Larissa said. “How we have to suppress feelings sometimes when someone is in a relationship, and we like them. There’s probably a chapter in that.”
‘Try a whole book,’Harlow thought to herself.
“Yeah. So, I suppressed them as much as I could, met someone else, and it was fine for a while. Then, Kit and her ex broke up, and I started thinking about her that way again, but I had a girlfriend by then, and things were going well, so I suppressed my feelings again, and by the time we broke up, Kit was dating someone else.”
“It went like that for seven or eight years, I think, before we were both single and not dating anyone for a while.”
“Why was that?” Harlow asked this time.
“It was a conscious decision on my part,” Matilda said. “I didn’t want anyone else. I’d tried with a few women, and none were her. I knew I wanted her.”
“And I was starting to figure out that I had feelings for her,” Kit added.
“But you didn’t start dating until around ten years in, right?” Larissa asked.
“I didn’t think she felt the same way,” Kit shared. “So, I tried to keep my own feelings in check. I worried all the time that I might reveal myself accidentally. I remember being terrified that she’d find out and it would ruin everything.”
“She had no idea that I had felt that way for our entire friendship,” Matilda said, smiling over at her. “My sister got married around this time, and I brought Kit as my plus-one. My sister is annoying and pushed us into dancing because she knew how I felt about Kit, and we danced to a slow song.”
“How did that go?” Larissa asked.
“It was great,” Kit replied. “Really fucking good. I had wanted to dance with her, hold her hand all day and night at that damn wedding, and I finally got the chance. Then, the song ended, and we pulled apart. I thought it was over, and we didn’t talk about it after that.”
“So, how did you get together, then?” Harlow asked.
“Um…” Matilda said and looked sheepish.
“Anything you’re uncomfortable with, you don’t–”
“No, it’s okay. It’s just not exactly the fairy-tale situation you’re probably looking for,” Matilda said with a little laugh.
“I walked in on her when she was naked,” Kit shared.
“Oh,” Harlow said as her brain pictured Larissa naked.
She wondered at the color of her nipples with her pale skin, and how Larissa’s skin would feel everywhere she hadn’t touched her as her friend. She licked her lips, and when she realized that Larissa was staring at her, she shook her head and refocused.
“We were hanging out that night and going somewhere. I was late getting ready, so I’d just gotten out of the shower. I had a studio apartment at the time, and I walked right out of my bathroom without a towel because I thought I was alone, but Kit had a key, and she’d gotten there early, so she saw me standing next to my bed, wearing nothing.”
“And she told you how she felt?” Harlow asked.
“Nope. She showed me,” Matilda replied.
“Oh,” Larissa said this time.
“Yeah. I kissed her, and when she didn’t pull away, we kept kissing untilIwas naked, and– You can guess the rest. It was perfect. I wouldn’t change any of it,” Kit added before she turned her face to Matilda and winked at her. “I’m sure you guys expected some long, drawn-out conversation about feelings, and that probably works for some people in our situation, but for us, it happened how it happened, and I think it was exactly how it was supposed to go. Ten years of pent-up sexual tension and frustration later, we finally just went with it, and it was hot, romantic, and just… perfect.”
“I wasn’t expecting anything,” Larissa replied. “So, now that we have the basics, let’s go back to the beginning and talk about the specific thoughts and feelings from the time you met again, if you don’t mind.”
Harlow stopped paying attention to the interview then because she began thinking about how sex had worked for this couple, but she knew it wouldn’t work for her and Larissa. Larissa might not need a long, drawn-out feelings chat, necessarily, but she wouldn’t want Harlow to just go for the kissor something more. For Kit and Matilda, it had worked out, obviously, but Harlow knew Larissa better than anyone, and she also knew herself. As much as she wanted to make love with Larissa, she didn’t want it to be the first thing they did if they actually got together.
