“And we know we all can’t get married legally, but we’re hoping to ask Neve someday to have a ceremony with us to celebrate our love in front of our friends and family.”
“Can we go back to the beginning of your relationship, Brynn and Sydney?” Larissa asked.
“Sure,” Sydney said.
“When you met and had that night, you said it was magical. Can you elaborate on that?”
“Can I take this one?” Brynn asked Sydney.
“Sure, love.”
“So, I know I had a few drinks, and you might think that that had something to do with it, but I don’t think so. I’ve been tipsy around women I was into, and it never felt the way it did with Syd.”
“Howdidit feel?” Harlow asked and looked over at Larissa.
“Like she was the only one in the room, even though we were in a bar jam-packed with people. The after-concert crowd had all gone to the same damn bar, so we had to wait for over anhour to even get a tall table to lean against; it wasthatpacked. And I’m not one for crowds normally, but I did not care that night. She was there, and we were laughing and getting to know each other. I forgot to drink my drink at one point, and it got all watered down because it was like everything around her was blurry; she was the only one there.”
“There’s a science to that, the three stages of falling in love,” Larissa said. “First, there’slust, which is driven by the levels of testosterone in men and estrogen in women. Then, there’s attraction, which can affect people similarly to certain drugs or alcohol, which is probably why people describe it as a high sometimes. There’s euphoria and the release of several chemicals in the brain, like dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. It can make falling in love feel like a rush, and it kind of makes you addicted to the person you’re falling for. Adrenaline, in particular, is the reason your cheeks feel warm and flushed, your palms get all sweaty, and your heart races when you meet someone you like for the first time. You will also sometimes not be able to eat or drink because you’re so focused on that person. And the light in the room will seem brighter because your eyes are – well, open wider, for lack of a scientific term at the moment.” Larissa chuckled. “Then, there’s attachment, and that’s where the release of dopamine and norepinephrine is replaced with oxytocin, which is when you may begin to feel more bonded and start making long-term plans together.”
“I didn’t know any of that,” Neve said. “I mean, I guess I knew some of the basic stuff you said.”
Harlow could only stare at Larissa. She could listen to her talk science all day, every day, for the rest of her life and die a happy woman. She thought back to the night they had met at the party and how she’d had a whole plate of appetizers that she hadn’t touched; how one day, soon after meeting, they’d goneto coffee, and she hadn’t even taken a sip. Every room Larissa walked into got brighter for her, too. Her palms didn’t get sweaty regularly anymore, but sometimes, they still did. One day, not all that long ago, Larissa had been getting dressed for a school event and needed Harlow to zip up her dress. Harlow’s hands had been sweaty then, and she’d barely gotten the zipper all the way up.
She was happy for the three women in front of her for finding one another in a world that was made for singles and couples and tended to judge anyone and everyone who was different or who just wanted different for themselves, but she knew she didn’t want two or three or more women. She only wanted Larissa.
“Well, I guess I was in the lust and attraction phase that night,” Brynn commented with a chuckle.
“The attachment phase came, like, the next day,” Sydney joked. “She wouldn’t let go of me. I didn’t have to work or anything that day, but she didn’t even want to get out of bed. She just wanted to hold me all day.”
“It’s true,” Brynn confirmed. “I remember really having to pee, but I wasnotgetting up.”
“I offered to make breakfast, and she didn’t let me until eleven o’clock or something, and we were both so hungry by then, we ate everything in the fridge, I think. We made love all day after that and had dinner.”
“We ordered in,” Brynn said. “I wasn’t ready to be without her yet.”
“We spent every night together for about a week and not many nights apart after that first attempt,” Sydney added.
“First attempt?” Larissa asked.
“We thought we might be moving too fast, so we said we’d spend a night at our own places, but we just ended up on the phone until one in the morning because we missed each other too much. We’re very lame.” Sydney laughed.
“I think it’s sweet,” Larissa noted.
Harlow turned to her and took in Larissa’s smile. It was her genuine smile, not the forced one she had used earlier.
“You were falling in love,” Larissa added.
“We were. We didn’t spend many nights apart after that.”
“Whywouldyou?” Harlow offered. “You found her.”
Larissa looked over at her then, and she gave her a look that Harlow wasn’t sure she had ever seen before, and she’d thought she knew most, if not all, of Larissa’s expressions by now. Larissa had her lips turned up just enough to be noticeable, and her eyes were wider than usual. She seemed somewhat tense but also strangely relaxed at the same time, which was an interesting combination that made Harlow take a deep breath.
CHAPTER 19
Larissa wasn’t asking the right questions. She had some of the same that she would ask everyone she interviewed, but this was a throuple, and she had forgotten they were talking to a throuple tonight because of her ridiculous conversation with her sister. She hadn’t been able to get Aggie’s words out of her mind since that meeting, and she’d gone home to do last-minute prep for the interview, but she hadn’t. She’d done nothing to make the most of the time she had booked with three women who had given their time to her for a silly book she probably shouldn’t even be working on anyway. School; that was what mattered. She needed to finish school, damn it. This wasn’t important.
“Larissa?” Harlow said.
