“What if Gloria and Jessie had met under similar circumstances, but they realized that they liked one another a few seconds earlier?”
“Go on,” Aggie said.
“What if Jessie had realized it in the classroom or right when she walked into the office?”
“Why would that matter?”
“Because, if that same hormonal release had occurred then, it would have told her to protect herself, right? This was her TA. She shouldn’t be interested in her TA. So, protecting herself would’ve meant protecting her heart, and that could have stopped her from doing anything at all. It would have gotten to her way before the love part hit her brain, and they wouldn’t be together.”
“That’s a theory at best. You’d need to do so much more work to validate it. We’re talking lab work, Larissa.” Her sister stole one of Larissa’s fries. “You’d need to be able to measure levels, compare them before and after, and don’t even get me started on finding people who could possibly like each otherin advanceof it all. The variables would be–”
“I know that. And I’m not using these interviews for my dissertation. This is for the book.”
“What about your Ph.D.? You know, that thing you’ve been working on for the better part of a decade?”
“I’ll get it done.”
“You can’t keep putting it off. Mom and Dad aren’t going to pay for you forever. And the school won’t–”
“I have a job,” Larissa interrupted. “And Mom and Dad paid for your school, too. They also bought you your house, Aggie. You’ve sold it since then, but I didn’t give you a hard time for taking the money you made from it and putting it toward the house you have now, even though that was Mom and Dad’s money, technically.”
“They told me to–”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t give you a hard time: we’ve both been incredibly lucky to have parents support us financially. And you finished your doctorate in no time at all, which is great for you, but not everyone is that fast. Most people aren’t, in fact. I’m not.”
“Because there’s always something else.” Aggie ate another stolen fry. “Last year, it was that you took on too many classes to teach. Your other job got in the way, too, if I’m not mistaken. Then, the year before that, there was something with Harlow’s mom.”
“Something with–” Larissa paused and shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”
“Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m sorry. Really.”
“She got cancer.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Aggie repeated. “How is she, by the way? You haven’t mentioned her in a while.”
“She’s still in remission, but you know it was touch-and-go there for a minute. Harlow needed me.”
“I do, and I feel awful for her, but there’s been one thing after the other since you got accepted into the program. Yes, the school might keep taking your money for a while, but it’s a competitive program, too, Larissa. If you don’t actually intend to graduate from it, someone else will, and you’re taking their spot.”
“I’ll finish it. I have time booked in the lab for next semester already. I’ve got tests I’ll be running with a partner, and I’m working on the plans for the study while researching and doing everything else. I’m not teaching this semester for a reason. I wanted the time to get done as much as I could.”
“But you’re writing a book? A book that’s closely related to your paper but also not?”
Larissa sat back in her chair and sighed.
“I’m not trying to give you a hard time. I’m really not,” Agatha added. “You’ve just told me over and over again for years that you want this. You wanted to be a doctor, Larissa, but all I see – and, honestly, all Mom and Dad can see sometimes, too – is you doing everything but trying to make that happen. For someone who spends most of their time studying andresearching, you don’t have much to show for it yet. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I’m not you, Aggie.”
“I know that. I’m not trying to make you like me.”
“I’m slower than you; that’s what I mean. I always have been. Maybe I shouldn’t have chosen the same damn program at the same school because it makes it so easy to compare us. You’re the one who breezed through school. I had a couple of easy years in there, but then, it got really hard for me. You never seemed to need to study, but I do. I need to, and I need to take however long it takes to get this done.”
“I get it, and that’s fine, but why are you throwing more obstacles in your way, then? This book? What are you even going to do with it? Try to get it published? Just write it? Use some of the content, if it’s possible, in your actual paper?”
“I don’t know yet,” she answered honestly. “Right now, I’m conducting interviews, and I’m enjoying it. It’s good data. It might not be perfect data, but it’s qualitative data, at least, and it’s supporting my hypothesis.”
“Well, I guess that’s something,” her sister replied and stole another fry.
