“Not your type?”
“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with that. I’m just not up for it tonight. I came for a drink and to think a little, not to pick up anyone.”
“And if I were here on another night and you weren’t here just for a drink and to do some thinking, would I have a chance?”
“For just sex?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Okay. Then, a date?”
“Where there’s sexafterI buy you dinner?”
“Ican buy the dinner.”
“If I deliver on the sex?”
Ashlee laughed and said, “God, I like you. You just got hotter somehow.”
Harlow laughed, too, and replied, “I’m not interested in anything tonight. I don’t know about another night, but I don’t do the just-sex thing. So, if that’s what you’re into, I wish you luck, but it’s not gonna be with me.”
“Why not? Sex is fun. It can be really, really good. And it doesn’t have to come with a relationship attached to it.”
“I have more fun and better sex when it is,” she replied and took another drink of her beer.
“You and I are very different people,” Ashlee said. “My friend and I specifically came out here tonight hoping to find someone to take home. She got lucky. I’m still here.”
“Maybe I should take my drink to a booth or something so that you have a better chance. If women see you talking to me, they might get the wrong idea.”
“Actually, I think I’ll take off. There’s a club not all that far from here, where I might be able to find a nice soft butch to dance with me.”
“Clothes off or on?”
Ashlee stood, and as she dropped some bills on the bar, she said, “Hopefully, both. Enjoy your night, Harlow. I hope to see you here again soon.”
Then, Ashlee left, but Harlow didn’t really feel like being there anymore, either. She finished her beer, tipped the bartender, even though Ashlee already had, and left as well. Driving back to Larissa’s place, she felt worse off than before she had left, and when she arrived, she went in through the garage door again, kicked off her shoes by the washer and dryer, and opened the inner door.
“Hey, I’m home,” she said and realized right after that word had left her mouth that she wasn’thome.
She was juststayingwith Larissa again because she had moved in with someone and it hadn’t worked out.Again.
Larissa wasn’t on the couch or at the table, which was odd because it was only a little after eleven and she usually worked past midnight. Harlow walked down the hall and saw that Larissa’s door was partially open. She peered inside and saw her sleeping on her back, her closed eyes aimed up at the ceiling and one hand on her phone, with the other at her side. She smiled, knowing that Larissa had probably fallen asleep readingsomething, but she didn’t want to wake her by putting her phone away, so she walked into the guest room and closed the door softly behind her.
This room had become Harlow’s second home since Larissa had received this house as a gift for her graduation. The closet had most of Harlow’s worldly possessions stuffed away inside it and nothing of Larissa’s. The bed technically didn’t belong to Harlow, but she’d brought her own bed set over once after a different breakup and used it. Larissa had just left it there for her, and now, she was sleeping on it as if they were permanent roommates. She couldn’t be roommates with Larissa, though, because it felt too real. It felt like they were a couple, and that meant that once again, it was time for her to go.
She pulled out her own computer, set it on the bed, and after going to the bathroom and taking care of everything she needed there, she returned and opened it, finding the website she’d now used on several occasions. She entered in the zip code and a ten-mile range and hit the search icon, waiting a few seconds until the results appeared. Then, she was able to add in some filters and chose central air because she didnotdo well in the heat, a parking spot for her car, and an in-unit washer and dryer. Over sixty apartments matched those parameters, which was too many for her to look at tonight, so she added a price range filter and indicated that she was interested in one or two bedrooms but no studios and nothing bigger than two. She couldn’t find a filter for lease terms, but Harlow was ready for something long-term.
She knew she needed to get over Larissa, but it would take her some time, and she was determined not to make yet another woman suffer through a relationship with her when there was someone else still trapped in her heart, so she’d be single for a while. A year-long lease would be her minimum, but if they offered eighteen months or two years, she’d take it. Harlowneeded to stay put for once. It would do her some good to not move once a year or in with someone else until she was finally ready to say goodbye to Larissa.
Then, there was a knock at her door, which scared the crap out of her.
“Come in,” she said after a ridiculous gasp and closed her laptop.
She watched as the door opened, and Larissa stood there, looking adorably tired as she pushed her glasses back up her nose.
“You’re home?” she asked softly.
