Larissa glanced over at Harlow’s empty chair and realized that she missed her. She had started only one interview without her and would do this one on her own, but she preferred to have Harlow with her because she always thought of different questions than Larissa. She would have to try to put herself inside Harlow’s brain tonight and do the best she could because Harlow was probably driving in traffic to give her new landlord a check for an apartment.
“Well, thank you for coming tonight. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.”
“No problem. We’ve really never had a chance to talk about our relationship with someone. When we start trying to explain things, people usually get judgmental or start asking us questions,” Theresa said and wrapped an arm around the back of Beth’s chair.
“Iwillbe asking questions. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t imagine yours will be the same as theirs,” Beth replied.
“Probably not. Maybe we can start by reviewing your questionnaire? Is it okay if I record this for my notes?”
She held up her phone.
“Sure,” Beth replied.
“Okay. So, your questionnaire was interesting to me because you addressed a lot in the open comments field.” Larissa pulled out her notebook where she’d written down what she’d wanted to say. “It said, and I’m quoting here, ‘We met on a blind date and didn’t hit it off at first. Friends set us up on a long weekend vacation after that, and we still didn’t get along, but when we got back from the weekend, we met again by chance and liked each other then. I know, weird. We’ve been together for twenty years, and long-distance for ten of thoseyears. We live in the same city now, but not together, and we’re not married. We don’t have any plans to move in together, and people think that’s strange. We decided to open up our relationship about two years ago, and it’s going well so far, but there’s some jealousy, mainly on Theresa’s end. This is Beth writing this, by the way.’ Well, that’s a lot,” Larissa noted and set the notebook down.
“Yeah, I tend to be long-winded,” Beth said.
“Did you know she wrote that?” Larissa asked Theresa.
“The jealousy part? Yeah, I was there when she filled it out.”
“And people judge you because ofwhat, exactly?”
Beth laughed and said, “I think it’s a shorter list that theydon’tjudge us on.”
“We’re both gay, so that’s already part of the problem. Our families tolerate, but don’t accept. They also never understood why we would want a long-distance relationship for more than ten years and were happy when Beth finally moved here because they thought we would move in together and get married, but we didn’t. Beth wanted her own place, and I like my independence. It works for us. Neither of us wants to get married, and we’ve never wanted kids, which is also strange to a lot of people. When you add to that that we now have an open relationship, it’s like brains blew out of skulls.”
Larissa chuckled and said, “We can go back to the beginning in a minute, but what has inspired the opening of the relationship?”
“Eighteen years is a long time to be with someone. We started having some miscommunication and went through more than one rough patch, so I suggested we open things up for a while, with the thought that we could always close them up again when we wanted to,” Beth said. “It’s not like we’re going on dates every week or anything, but recently, I got a girlfriend.She’s been the longest relationship I’ve had, outside of Theresa, obviously, and it’s caused some problems.”
“The jealousy?” Larissa asked.
“When it was just dating, I didn’t have a problem with it, but she has a girlfriend now. I’m her partner. I’m trying to figure out where I fit in, so we’ve been talking to someone. We go once a week, and it’s helping me understand.”
“Open relationships are confusing,” Beth added, placing her hand on Theresa’s lap. “We have rules, and it’s still confusing.”
“Rules?”
“Theresa is my main relationship and always will be. My girlfriend understands that and doesn’t have a problem with that now, but she also knows that if she does at some point, I’m not the woman for her. I won’t leave Theresa to be with her, so if this isn’t what she wants, that’s okay, but I love Theresa. She’s my partner, and I plan to keep her as long as she lets me.”
Beth smiled over at Theresa, and Theresa smiled back.
“Would you mind if we go back to the beginning for a moment? I’d love to talk about how you met. You didn’t like each other at first?”
“God, no.” Theresa laughed loudly, and it was almosttooloudly for the small room. “I couldn’t stand her.”
“You want to maybe say that without cackling, babe?” Beth asked with a little laugh.
“Sorry, but it’s true. At first, it was just a blind date gone wrong. I didn’t really feel any chemistry, but I also didn’t want to be her friend. Then, at the weekend where our friends in common decided to invite us both without telling us that the other one would be there, I really couldn’t stand her. She had to have an agenda for everything. Breakfast needed a plan. Lunch needed one. Dinner – another. Every day, it was the same. Like, if we were going to play some board games, it was from seven to nine at night or something and then the movie would start.I’m pretty go-with-the-flow, and it was supposed to be a fun, relaxing weekend. She drove me nuts.”
“And she was supposed to help cook breakfast the second morning but decided to sleep in, so I had to do it all myself, and there were eight of us. It was a disaster, and she just walked down the stairs acting like nothing was wrong,” Beth added.
“So, how did you get to the point where you actually liked each other, then?” Larissa asked with a soft laugh and made a note.
“We bumped into one another in therapy,” Theresa began. “We went to different doctors but in the same office, and I guess our appointments ended at the same time. We laughed about us both clearly needing therapy, and there was a café next door. I offered to buy her coffee to make up for the whole breakfast thing, and we ended up talking for a long time. She explained why she liked to plan things, and I told her why I don’t. We both listened for the first time, and I asked if she wanted to grab coffee again sometime. She said yes.”
