He hadn’t hovered. He never did. But he was present in a way that changed the shape of the room. A chair pulled out where I needed it. A door left open instead of closed. A glance that saidI’m still thinkingeven when he didn’t speak.
The yes from that morning still pulsed under my skin like a second heartbeat.
He hadn’t explained it. Hadn’t softened it. Hadn’t clarified what help meant. And ultimately, he hadn’t withdrawn it.
That told me more than anything else that it was real. I was in the back hallway, halfway between the kitchen and the small office, when I heard his voice. Low. Controlled. Not meant for me.
I stopped without thinking.
“…no, I understand the concern,” Brewster was saying. “But waiting hasn’t produced anything we can see. And if you’re assuming silence equals disengagement, I think that’s a mistake.”
A pause.
I leaned my shoulder lightly against the wall, heart ticking faster. Eavesdroppers never heard anything good about themselves. I was fine with that, I just wanted to know what he said.
Information was power.
“Yes,” he continued, evenly. “I’m aware of the optics. I’m also aware that pressure doesn’t only come from visibility. Sometimes it comes from maintaining continuity. He’s already reached out to her twice, instead of rewarding him, we’re punishing him. Not seeing how that helps anyone.”
Another pause. Longer this time.
“She’s not asking to freelance,” Brewster said. “She’s asking to stay relevant and on the story that got us this lead in the first place.”
I closed my eyes for half a second.
“Well,” he said, blowing out a breath. His tone went from firm and definitive to something softer and thoughtful. “We put her back on air in a controlled way. It tells the Unsub their conversation isn’t over.” Another pause. “Yes, I’m aware. But we don’t want him to think he gets to dictate when and how she reports on the story.”
Another pause.
“No, I’m not implying that we are acting in his stead by keeping her contained and offsite, I’m saying we’re sending thewrongmessage.”
The air in my lungs stalled.
Whoever was on the other end must have taken over the conversation because Brewster went quiet. He also didn’t interrupt. I wanted to glance around the corner to make sure he was still on the phone, but that would definitely betray my presence.
During our short acquaintance, I’d learned that Brewster rarely interrupted or rushed people. He was infuriatingly patient and there was a kind of deliberateness to how he listened. I respected the skill, admired it, even when it annoyed me. Because it made him incredibly effective.
“No,” he said finally. “I am not challenging him to escalate. The point of a relationship is give and take. She gave. He gave. When she went back on the air, she gave him some more. Now we’ve taken her out of play.”
More silence.
“No, I said if he has responded, we haven’t identified it yet. That’s not a case of him not responding. We don’t know?—”
This time the quiet had teeth. Whether the teeth were on our side or his boss’s remained to be seen. I assumed it was his boss because even his tone was deferential. Brewster might do many things, but based on what I’d observed so far, deferring to anyone else wasn’t one
“Absolutely not, sir,” Brewster said finally, when he resumed his side of the conversation. “I’m saying we are in the honeymoon phase with the Unsub, he wants to impress her. She has impressed him. If he can’t see her to check on whether she received his messages—yes messages or gifts—the likelihood that he sees it as rejection is high.”
Arms folded, I leaned back against the wall. Brewster made a compelling argument. Again, the stretch of time where he said nothing seemed to extend.
“She understands timing better than anyone else in this situation,” he said slowly. “Including me. I might understand the Unsub, but she sees him. More, she sees how to reach him. If we keep sidelining her, we’re not reducing the risk. We’re retargeting it… the Unsub could take it out on other targets or McByran could decide to go rogue. Either way—it doesn’t really work out for us.”
A beat.
“Yes. I’m recommending it.”
I didn’t hear the end of the call. Pulse loud in my ears, I retreated down the hall quietly before he could end the conversation and catch me.
My hands were shaking. The man made a hell of an argument. In advocating for me, Ibelievedhis argument even more than my own. He wasn’t just willing to stand next to the live wire with me, he flat out grabbed it and put it in my hands.
