Shame washes over me at the realization that I had the same thought when I saw Spencer and Isla training together the other day. They’ve been practicing most of their moves off-ice in an area I walk past frequently. I watched as he lifted Isla into the air every time I passed them, Spence’s hands on her hips to keep her steady, while their coach directed them to make corrections.
I wanted to be him.
I squirt water in Max’s direction. “You think you’ll be able to focus on hockey, or are you too busy fawning over her?”
“Lighten up, man, I can multi-task,” Max murmurs, tapping me on the front of my shoulder before stepping onto the ice.
I wish we were playing on opposing teams, so I could deliver a punishing hit on him.
In the third period, I spot Isla in the small crowd watching us play. A crowd composed of the players’ significant others, their kids, and parents from our community who bring their hockey-playing kids as a weekend activity. Many remain for free-skate, which happens after our games end.
It’s the first game Spence has made it to since moving back. He whistles at the top of his lungs after a particularly nasty hit that I land on the opposing team’s best player. Isla sits beside him, sporting a beanie with a pom-pom on top and a gray sweatshirt.
Why the fuck did I encourage her to stay and watch me play?
That thought screams in my mind when I come out of the locker room after the game to find Max, still in his gear and on the ice, talking to Isla. Quashing the impulse to interrupt them takes all my strength. It’s the protective instinct that’s always been in me since I was a kid, standing up for Spencer on the playground and punching Ella’s dickhead boyfriend for making her cry.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Spence, who’s also watching the interaction between Isla and Max.
“What? I can’t watch my brother demolish the competition?”
“I thought you’d be busy with training.”
Spencer nods in Isla’s direction. “Once she’s done eviscerating that guy’s confidence, we’re going to lift some weights. Wanna join us?”
I’m relieved that my brother doesn’t think Isla is into Max, but when Max puts his hand on her arm, my breath catches. It rips away the tiny bit of relief and launches it out of my reach.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.”
I hate how I’m letting her unsettle me, rendering me powerless to my emotions. I’ve fallen in love twice, puppy love when I was a teenager and again with the woman who became my wife. Diane and I madesense. We took all the same classes for our shared major and became study partners, then friends. We spent so much time together that the transition to romantic partners was seamless. Our relationship was what I was looking for, steady and predictable, until it wasn’t.
Now I prefer my single life.
Spencer pouts and blinks quickly, his eyelashes batting in pure innocence. I know him too well to let it influence me.
My breath begins to regulate once Isla shrugs off Max’s hand.
“Ask Max,” I say. “I’m sure he’ll lift with you.”
Spencer raises an eyebrow. “You want me to invite the guy you’ve been staring daggers at since you got out of the locker room?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Right,” he replies through a laugh, obnoxiously loud in this quiet space.
Isla’s head snaps toward the sound, and our gazes clash. One side of her lips hitches into a slight sneer before she spins around toward Max, who hasn’t stopped talking despite momentarily losing her attention.
“He’s a prick. She can do better.”
“Is that right?” A slow, knowing smile spreads across Spencer’s face. “Who did you have in mind?”
I hate that my reaction to Isla Covington is obvious, that Spencer has picked up on it in the limited time he’s seen me in her presence. My jaw clenches to the point of pain. “I’d place you ahead of Max.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”
I can’t stop the fucking words as they rush out of me, “Not your type?”
“You know my type is expansive,” he replies with a wry smile. “Even if I was into her, I wouldn’t. She made it crystal clear that it would be a deal breaker. Her last partner dumped her after he caught feelings, and she didn’t. It screwed her over and stalled out her career.”
