But he doesn’t need to say a damn word for me to know he would do anything to stop my pain right now. It’s in the waythose soft brown eyes linger on my face, the comforting squeeze of my knee.
All I can hope is this next part of the story won't change his feelings.
“The only person who didn’t try to interrogate me was this guy I was seeing casually, my brother’s old teammate, Garrett.”
Zach’s fingers tighten on my leg before relaxing again, the only sign mentioning another guy bothers him. He continues to stare as I talk, his chin propped in the palm he’s resting on the couch.
“Garrett gave me pills to help with my energy problem. And they worked great for a long time. Until they didn’t.” I look away from him, not ready to see judgment. I’d experienced enough of it from my family… and from myself.
“What happened?” Zach’s quiet voice breaks through my thoughts.
I clear my throat. “Well, I had a lot of energy. Too much energy. The pills triggered a hypomanic episode. I barely needed sleep. All I wanted to do was work out and do gymnastics. I never got tired. I had this incredible feeling of invincibility. But it didn’t last, and the low I felt after…”
I can’t say the words, but Zach knows them. His hand entwines with mine, a comforting presence I desperately need.
“Eventually,” I continue, “my body couldn’t take anymore. My coach found me collapsed on the floor one morning, unresponsive with a slow pulse. I don’t remember what happened. The whole night is a blur. I’m thankful I wasn’t in the middle of flipping on the beam or swinging on the bars when I lost consciousness. It could’ve been a lot worse.”
“That’s why your family is so overprotective? Because of a mistake you made?”
I shake my head. “They’re protective because we found out I have bipolar 2 disorder. Since then, my family has solely focused on keeping me healthy—limiting stressors, like collegeand gymnastics, monitoring my sleep, my diet, my medication. My parents pay for college out of state only because I’m staying with Matt and Gemma. Matt’s in charge of making sure I keep to my routine and stay healthy.”
A weight eases from my chest, making it easier to breathe. He knows everything now, and he hasn't pulled away. More tears race down my face.
“This explains a lot.” Silence blankets the room. Finally, he says, “Can I ask you a question?”
I force a smile. “You can ask me anything.”
“How many people know?”
It’s not the first question I expect, but that’s Zach Briggs, a never-ending source of the unexpected.
“Not many. My family, Veronica. She needed to know so she could keep an eye on me. I didn’t tell her… everything.”
“Why did you decide to tell me?”
Maybe it’s because he’s looking at me the same way he did before, despite everything I’ve told him. Or maybe it’s because he moved closer to me with every new piece of myself I shared. I love Zach Briggs, so intensely my chest aches, and I want him to know all of me.
“Well, there are a couple of reasons.” I fiddle with the silver ring on my right hand. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met, and I can’t stand that keeping this secret was hurting you. I also can’t imagine my life without you, and there’s no shot at a future if I'm not honest. I’ve been terrified to tell you for the same reason. It changes things.”
Zach tries to say “It doesn’t,” but I swiftly cut him off.
“It does. I’m never going to be easy to love. It’s always going to be hard.”
Zach shifts closer, his knee bumping and settling against mine.
“Finley, I’ve never fallen in love before, so I can’t pretend to be an expert on it, but falling in love with you is the easiest thingI’ve ever done. Nothing would be harder than staying away from you.”
A fresh tear falls from my eye, but Zach doesn’t sweep it away this time. He holds my hands, anchoring me in this moment, keeping me connected to him.
“Dammit,” I mutter. “It’sthis, right here, that’s turned my entire life upside down. How could I not fall in love with you? Every moment I spend with you lights me up from the inside in a way nothing else ever has.”
Zach grips my chin, turning it until I meet his wide eyes. “Did you say you love me?”
There’s a tsunami in my stomach, waves crashing one after the other, the longer we hold eye contact. It’s unsettling as much as it is thrilling to have everything out on the table between us. There’s so much we still need to discuss, but more than anything, I want Zach to know my heart.
“I love you, Zach. For a while now, act—”
His hand slides from my chin to the side of my head and his lips slam into mine, unrelenting in their devouring of my mouth. I’m not sure who moves first, but it isn’t long until I’m in Zach’s lap, legs wrapped around his back.
